How a Con person's mind works

Con people make money through deception. They lie, cheat and fool people into thinking they've happened onto a great deal or some easy money when ­they're the ones who'll be making money. If that doesn't work, they'll take advantage of your weaknesses -- loneliness, insecurity, poor health or simple ignorance. The only thing more important to a con person than perfecting a con is perfecting a total lack of conscience.

What does the average con person look like? Despite what you may think, he or she isn't always a shady-looking character. A con person is an expert at looking however he needs to look. If the con involves banking or investments, the con artist will wear a snappy suit. If it involves home improvement scams, he'll show up wearing well-worn work clothes. Even the basic assumption that the con is a "he" is incorrect: there are plenty of con women too.

You might think you can spot a con artist because he's someone you instinctively "don't trust." But the term con artist is short for confidence artist -- they gain your confidence just long enough to get their hands on your money. They can be very charming and persuasive. A good con artist can even make you believe he is really an old friend you haven't seen in years.

 Con people do share certain characteristics, however. Even the best con can only go on for so long before people start getting suspicious. For that reason, con people tend to move frequently. They may have a job that allows this, or they might claim to have such a job. A store manager, marketing manager or whatsoever worker and traveling salesman are all parts con people play to cover up their constant relocations.

It would be impo­ssible to catalog every con because con people are inventive. While many cons are simply variations on ones that are hundreds of years old, new technologies and laws give con artists the opportunity to create original scams. Many cons tend to fall into a few general categories, however: street cons, marriage cons, business cons, Internet cons, loan cons, and home improvement cons.

How to Avoid a Con

Sometimes it seems like the world is full of people constantly trying to get their hands on your money. But there are a few things to remember that will help make you resistant to most cons:

•  You never get something for nothing. There's an old saying: "You can't cheat an honest man." Most cons rely on the victim's own greed. Con people know that people often throw caution to the wind when they start seeing dollar signs. Deals that sound too good to be true usually are.
• Guard your personal information. Especially guard your Social Security number, credit card numbers and bank account numbers. We have to use these numbers in many of our daily transactions, but if you are asked for any of this information, be absolutely sure that the person doing the asking is someone you can trust or works for a reputable company.
• Don't accept solicitations. Whether you get a cold call for an investment opportunity or someone comes to your door offering to do home repairs, hang up the phone and close the door. While there may be legitimate businesses that go door-to-door or make cold calls to find customers, they are few and far between.
• Watch for signs. Con people often give themselves away if you ask enough questions. Ask for some kind of written documentation of their offer. Check for a real address, not a P.O. Box. Ask to see a driver's license, and write down the information on it. Write down license plate numbers, and make sure the con person sees you doing it. If it's a legitimate offer, he won't mind. Tell him you need to think the deal over for at least a few days before making a decision. A con artist will often pressure you to make a decision on the spot -- often using hard-sell tactics, such as saying that the deal won't last. They may get nervous when you ask for something in writing, and will usually refuse to provide it. When someone wants your money, if the offer is legitimate, it will still be around next week.

If You've Been Conned

The most street-wise person can get taken in by a con. If you've been victimized, what should you do?

• Con people count on their victims feeling foolish and afraid to report the scam. But if you remain silent about being conned, you're letting the con person move on to steal from others. Write down every detail you can remember as soon as possible, while it's fresh in your memory. Collect any documented evidence you might have as well. This includes receipts, contracts or even your own phone records.
• Now it's time to contact the authorities. You may have to do some legwork to find the right agency or someone who is willing to help you. Your local police department may have a special division assigned to fraud cases. Also, contact your local police. Get in touch with the Better Business Bureau and see if there are any other reports of the same con person -- this could help you and the police track him down. Many scams also fall under the jurisdiction of certain federal agencies. If you really reach a dead end, try your local TV news stations. Many have segments where a reporter tracks down a con person and demands answers, and a con person hates the spotlight.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Husband and wife is a relationship like you see yourself in mirror

A lot of times when I write on relationships, I get comments that I write about “ideal” or “unrealistic” couples. But I always write what I think to be true, and the kind of relationship you would want to invest in personally. So maybe after reading this answer, many will feel the same, so I would kindly request you all to read this seriously and only settle for a partner who passes in at least half of these parameters.

• A healthy relationship is where neither the husband nor the wife brings back the matters of past and taunt each other regularly for the past mistakes that were committed.
• A healthy relationship is where neither the husband nor the wife stops the other one to carry out his/her responsibilities towards parents or siblings. A mature husband-wife understands the value of family. Neither the husband expects the wife to forget her family, neither the wife expects the husband to leave his family as she did.
• A healthy relationship is where there is communication. The husband and wife both discuss almost everything with each other before taking any decision. They also communicate about their problems, their emotions, their needs, and desires.
• A healthy relationship is where there is no cheating involved of any kind.
• A healthy relationship is where the husband can cook meals and the wife can pay bills if the need arises.
• A healthy relationship is where the husband or wife doesn't need to lie or hide about their money or property from each other. If you cannot trust your life partner that much, why marry them
• A healthy relationship is where both husband and wife bring up their children equally.
• A healthy relationship is where if one partner says “let's buy this saree for Mom”, the other one has to specifically ask to clarify, “Mine or yours?”
• A healthy relationship is where the husband's success becomes the wife's success and the wife's success becomes the husband's success.
• A healthy relationship is where both stick with each other in the lowest of times, in the worst of times, when the world is against them.
• A healthy relationship is where both can cry their hearts out and tell all their secrets without having the fear of being judged or laughed upon.
• A healthy relationship is where both understand that there would be fights and disagreements, but still love each other enough to forgive and forget.
• A healthy relationship is where both respect and value each other.
• A healthy relationship is where there is no ego of being a man or a woman.
• A healthy relationship is where none is keeping a score of how much they're doing for the other one.
• A healthy relationship is where both are committed and ready for compromises and sacrifices.
• A healthy relationship is where both grow old together, who love each other enough to complete this long journey of life even after several ups and downs and never leave each other, till death do them apart.

So if you have met someone who passes even half of these points, you're lucky. And for the rest, don't lose hope, who knows you might find someone like that tomorrow itself.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Karma has become a stagy fashion statement these days!

Yesterday I and my friend were having a discussion about whether should we have confidence in karma or no.  I feel it’s all like all that dramatic bullshit. You take a large idea, and give it a large meaning and poof! Karma gives people a misapprehension of reasonableness or equality when the world by and large is completely and utterly unfair. Even before I learned about Just-world hypothesis, I find the entire premise of karma ridiculous. People said: don't do bad things because Karma will get you. That's just utilitarianism, isn't it? So you do good things because Karma will reward you, not because it is the right thing to do; you don't do bad things because Karma will punish you, not because it is against your own personal principle and it might hurt other people. (I have similar despise for the heaven and hell system of most religions.)

And when you see something wrong, instead of speaking up and stepping up to fight against it, you hide and tell yourself "Karma will get him!" I can't wait for Karma to work, if something is wrong, I need to speak up. When I make conclusions I need to be true to my own belief regardless of what "Karma" would or would not do.

Chinese are huge on this entire karma thing; we have hundreds of different proverbs and phrases to express "what goes around comes around". I find it rather repulsive because I rarely see it act positively. People whine about bad things, and yet none of them do anything about it because "Karma will get the bad guys! They’ll get what they deserve!" I disgust it. You can't rely on some intergalactic force to do your own work.

And the worst part of "Karma", it empowers the concept of victim-blaming. If Karma does exist, bad things cannot happen to good people. In other words, if bad things happened to you, you must have done something to deserve it. We see it all the time in many rapes, murder, etc cases these days. People talked about it everywhere, while there's much compassion for those victims, some people always say something like "well, they must have done something to deserve that".

So no. I don't believe in Karma. I don't believe AIDS babies had done something to deserve their fate. I don't believe women being beaten up by their husbands because they have done something wrong in their lives. And I certainly won't wait for Karma to get to the bad guys if I can do something about it, even if it’s just speaking up.  In short, we basically should not believe in any philosophy which weakens your belief in yourself. That is the crux.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

You cannot change others, you can only change yourself!

Okay, here is a hard one to learn; we can’t change others but we can change ourselves.  Why do I say it is hard?  Because we are so attached to proving our genuineness, intent or evenhandedness,  that we keep coming up with different ways to make our point even if every attempt only brings us aggravation and disenchantment.

There is nothing wrong with trying to commune our thoughts and feelings but what becomes a waste is when it is obvious that the recipient is not ready or doesn’t want to see things in a different way.  They are stuck in their position and methodology and they are not going to change no matter what we do.

So when we come to that point, then it is time to let go and change our retort and outlook.  Continuing doing the same reaching out or trying to come up with different ways to still make our point, becomes a manifestation of our own powerlessness to accept that which we have no control.  I know it is excruciating because none of us want to give up on having optimistic communication and interaction but again sometimes it’s just not possible.  Once we accept that as a fact then it is time to stop trying and embrace things as they are.

That’s when our own transformation takes place.  We stop trying and we shield ourselves from the unremitting prejudice.  We change our behavior to stop our expectations and we accept realism.  In time the aggravation diminishes and the possibility of a different connection opens up.  Trusting the procedure allows for different outcomes, maybe not the ones we hoped for, but one of less rage, hassle, and nuisance.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

How to stop giving a flying fuck about what others think of you

We're all guilty. Every day from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us. We accept the status quo for what it is because everyone around us does. We tiptoe our way through life by doing things in order to please others, not because it's what we believe in. Eventually, our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us. How are these pants going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I spoke out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me?

Living a life that follows the idyllic notions of what other people think is a terrible way to live. It makes you become the spineless spectator who waits for other people to take action first. It makes you become a hanger-on. Worst of all, it makes you become someone who doesn't take a stand for anything. Today is the last day we live a life verbalized by others. Today, we're going to get to the bottom of the truth. Today is the day we stop giving a Fuck

Believe it or not, we're not that special. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is those people are thinking the exact same thing. No one in today's "smartphone crazed" society has time in their schedule to think more than a brief second about us. The fact of the matter is, when we do have time get our thoughts straight, we're too busy thinking about ourselves and our own shortcomings, not others.

A study was done by the National Science Foundation claims that people have, on average, 50,000 plus thoughts a day. This means that even if someone thought about us ten times in one day, it's only 0.02% of their overall daily thoughts. It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think of most things relating to "me" or "my." This means that unless you have done something that directly affects another person or their life, they are not going to spend much time thinking about you at all. Even when provided with the blatantly obvious opportunity to judge someone, people are still thinking about how others may perceive them. Once you understand that this is how people's minds work, it's a big step towards freedom.

It's impossible to live up to everyone's expectations. There will always be people—no matter what we say or how we treat them—that will judge us. Whether you're at the gym, at work, taking the train, or even online playing pubg, scrabble, etc. Even now it's happening. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you.

Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen when someone is judging you or what you're doing. I guarantee that chances are nothing will happen. Absolutely nothing. No one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. Because as I mentioned before, no one actually cares. What will happen is that these people will actually respect you for claiming your ground. They may disagree with you, but they'll respect you.

Start standing up for what you believe in causes, opinions, anything. You're going to have people that disagree with you anyways, so why not express how you truly feel? I've learned that it's better to be loved by a few people you care about than to be liked by everyone. These are family, friends, your spouse the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people. They're the only people that matter.

The world is already full of people who obey the status quo. But the people who don't give a fuck are the ones that change the world. Be the latter. Start living life the way you want, be daring like you once were as a child, and always, always stand up for the truth. Someone has to.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Know your worth, hold your own power, be you.

I read this somewhere and I wanted to pen this on my blog right away.

For a long time in my 20’s and even into my 30’s, I was continuously chasing after people and friendships and things I thought were going to make me happy. A beautiful thing happened when I stopped the pursuit of happiness: I realized it had been here all along.

Now I just stay in one place and trust that the people and opportunities meant to be in my life will flow to me naturally and with straightforwardness and inevitability. I have solely and completely embraced I spending time with myself is something I actually apprize and look after now instead of run from. I haven’t “arrived” by any expanse of the imagination…but I have, at long last, reached a place of peace about the value that I possess and that I bring to other people’s lives and I no longer feel the need to chase anyone down to force them to see it. Because here’s the bottom line: If they can’t see the beauty and joy and richness that you bring into their life, they don’t belong in yours.

So stop careering today and standstill. I think you’ll be startled at how eloquent and purposeful your life will become the very minute you stop trying to prove your meaning and purpose to others. You need to love yourself. Love yourself so much to the point that your energy and aura rejects anyone who doesn’t know your worth.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

“Taking time for ourselves may seem selfish, as though we're avoiding our significant other,” “In reality, brief periods of solitude rejuvenate our soul batteries and allow to give even more to our spouses and to the relationship itself.” What they don't tell you about being 30-something is that it's OK to be egocentric sometimes. You're chasing after your own dreams and creating a path. You'll need a lot of "Me time" to figure it all out. There's a lot of heaviness that comes with surrounding yourself with people. You might not feel like you can totally be yourself, or find that you're following a crowd into a Friday or Saturday night plan you seriously didn't sign up for. That's why "Me time" in your 30s is so vital, and something we should always make room for in our diaries.

What you want becomes what is just next on your agenda. You start to lose interest in the things you used to love because you can’t enjoy them anymore as you are constantly moving to the next activity. Your career already expects so much of you but when you pile on a social life you lose the time for you to do what you want to do because you conform to what is on your itinerary. Whether that may be reading, writing, going on a run, painting, etc. It’s vital to take even an hour every day to be alone and focus on yourself. You stop taking the steps to take care of yourself because you no longer think about what you need to do in order to be the best you. We often feel so guilt-ridden when we need to separate ourselves from the rest of the world just to take a step back and focus on our lives. But if we can’t be 100% in fine fettle or at least striving to be, healthy relationships and positive thinking are nearly impossible to obtain.

The point of “me” time is less of what activities you want to be a part of and more of having time set aside to focus on yourself. It’s okay to stay in when everyone else is going out just to enjoy your own company. You need to be your own best advocate and friend. While you may have friends who you enjoy being around, it’s not an insult to say no to being with them when you are aware you’re not feeling well enough. In fact, saying no to someone just to have “me” time means you are strong enough to be alone without fear of judgment or worthlessness. It’s important to have activities that you can enjoy, but it’s not okay to only fill your time up with those. If the people around you are true and worthwhile, they will understand when you say you need time for yourself. They will understand when you say you cannot go out for a night. They will not only accept that but they will also cherish the fact that you care enough about yourself. It’s always motivational when you care enough about yourself to know that you are worth it and can love being alone.

The most important thing in life is you. Not that you are the center of the universe or that you are above anyone else, but when you start to put other things before yourself, you curtail how important you justly are and how much love you deserve. Even though you might not feel as if you’re worth it, you are worth a gold medal for being you. Or maybe you do know how much you’re substance. In that case, you are kicking ass. However, it’s important to be outside of yourself so you don’t become narrow-minded. Justin Vernon stated, “There’s only so much time digging through yourself before you become insular”. That basically means that there’s only so much time you can spend focusing on yourself before you shut yourself out from the world. Therefore, it’s not that you need to constantly be doing hard work on yourself and focusing on problems. Life’s greatest gifts come from knowing the importance of laughter and love. However, you do need to listen to your needs and then actually fulfill them.

Loving yourself should be the calmest thing. You get to own your culpabilities and timidities. You get to dare yourself to be better and to focus on your own prerequisites. You get to take care of yourself before anyone else does.

Happy me signing of….:)

Rab Rakha!!!!!