How a Con person's mind works

Con people make money through deception. They lie, cheat and fool people into thinking they've happened onto a great deal or some easy money when ­they're the ones who'll be making money. If that doesn't work, they'll take advantage of your weaknesses -- loneliness, insecurity, poor health or simple ignorance. The only thing more important to a con person than perfecting a con is perfecting a total lack of conscience.

What does the average con person look like? Despite what you may think, he or she isn't always a shady-looking character. A con person is an expert at looking however he needs to look. If the con involves banking or investments, the con artist will wear a snappy suit. If it involves home improvement scams, he'll show up wearing well-worn work clothes. Even the basic assumption that the con is a "he" is incorrect: there are plenty of con women too.

You might think you can spot a con artist because he's someone you instinctively "don't trust." But the term con artist is short for confidence artist -- they gain your confidence just long enough to get their hands on your money. They can be very charming and persuasive. A good con artist can even make you believe he is really an old friend you haven't seen in years.

 Con people do share certain characteristics, however. Even the best con can only go on for so long before people start getting suspicious. For that reason, con people tend to move frequently. They may have a job that allows this, or they might claim to have such a job. A store manager, marketing manager or whatsoever worker and traveling salesman are all parts con people play to cover up their constant relocations.

It would be impo­ssible to catalog every con because con people are inventive. While many cons are simply variations on ones that are hundreds of years old, new technologies and laws give con artists the opportunity to create original scams. Many cons tend to fall into a few general categories, however: street cons, marriage cons, business cons, Internet cons, loan cons, and home improvement cons.

How to Avoid a Con

Sometimes it seems like the world is full of people constantly trying to get their hands on your money. But there are a few things to remember that will help make you resistant to most cons:

•  You never get something for nothing. There's an old saying: "You can't cheat an honest man." Most cons rely on the victim's own greed. Con people know that people often throw caution to the wind when they start seeing dollar signs. Deals that sound too good to be true usually are.
• Guard your personal information. Especially guard your Social Security number, credit card numbers and bank account numbers. We have to use these numbers in many of our daily transactions, but if you are asked for any of this information, be absolutely sure that the person doing the asking is someone you can trust or works for a reputable company.
• Don't accept solicitations. Whether you get a cold call for an investment opportunity or someone comes to your door offering to do home repairs, hang up the phone and close the door. While there may be legitimate businesses that go door-to-door or make cold calls to find customers, they are few and far between.
• Watch for signs. Con people often give themselves away if you ask enough questions. Ask for some kind of written documentation of their offer. Check for a real address, not a P.O. Box. Ask to see a driver's license, and write down the information on it. Write down license plate numbers, and make sure the con person sees you doing it. If it's a legitimate offer, he won't mind. Tell him you need to think the deal over for at least a few days before making a decision. A con artist will often pressure you to make a decision on the spot -- often using hard-sell tactics, such as saying that the deal won't last. They may get nervous when you ask for something in writing, and will usually refuse to provide it. When someone wants your money, if the offer is legitimate, it will still be around next week.

If You've Been Conned

The most street-wise person can get taken in by a con. If you've been victimized, what should you do?

• Con people count on their victims feeling foolish and afraid to report the scam. But if you remain silent about being conned, you're letting the con person move on to steal from others. Write down every detail you can remember as soon as possible, while it's fresh in your memory. Collect any documented evidence you might have as well. This includes receipts, contracts or even your own phone records.
• Now it's time to contact the authorities. You may have to do some legwork to find the right agency or someone who is willing to help you. Your local police department may have a special division assigned to fraud cases. Also, contact your local police. Get in touch with the Better Business Bureau and see if there are any other reports of the same con person -- this could help you and the police track him down. Many scams also fall under the jurisdiction of certain federal agencies. If you really reach a dead end, try your local TV news stations. Many have segments where a reporter tracks down a con person and demands answers, and a con person hates the spotlight.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Husband and wife is a relationship like you see yourself in mirror

A lot of times when I write on relationships, I get comments that I write about “ideal” or “unrealistic” couples. But I always write what I think to be true, and the kind of relationship you would want to invest in personally. So maybe after reading this answer, many will feel the same, so I would kindly request you all to read this seriously and only settle for a partner who passes in at least half of these parameters.

• A healthy relationship is where neither the husband nor the wife brings back the matters of past and taunt each other regularly for the past mistakes that were committed.
• A healthy relationship is where neither the husband nor the wife stops the other one to carry out his/her responsibilities towards parents or siblings. A mature husband-wife understands the value of family. Neither the husband expects the wife to forget her family, neither the wife expects the husband to leave his family as she did.
• A healthy relationship is where there is communication. The husband and wife both discuss almost everything with each other before taking any decision. They also communicate about their problems, their emotions, their needs, and desires.
• A healthy relationship is where there is no cheating involved of any kind.
• A healthy relationship is where the husband can cook meals and the wife can pay bills if the need arises.
• A healthy relationship is where the husband or wife doesn't need to lie or hide about their money or property from each other. If you cannot trust your life partner that much, why marry them
• A healthy relationship is where both husband and wife bring up their children equally.
• A healthy relationship is where if one partner says “let's buy this saree for Mom”, the other one has to specifically ask to clarify, “Mine or yours?”
• A healthy relationship is where the husband's success becomes the wife's success and the wife's success becomes the husband's success.
• A healthy relationship is where both stick with each other in the lowest of times, in the worst of times, when the world is against them.
• A healthy relationship is where both can cry their hearts out and tell all their secrets without having the fear of being judged or laughed upon.
• A healthy relationship is where both understand that there would be fights and disagreements, but still love each other enough to forgive and forget.
• A healthy relationship is where both respect and value each other.
• A healthy relationship is where there is no ego of being a man or a woman.
• A healthy relationship is where none is keeping a score of how much they're doing for the other one.
• A healthy relationship is where both are committed and ready for compromises and sacrifices.
• A healthy relationship is where both grow old together, who love each other enough to complete this long journey of life even after several ups and downs and never leave each other, till death do them apart.

So if you have met someone who passes even half of these points, you're lucky. And for the rest, don't lose hope, who knows you might find someone like that tomorrow itself.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Karma has become a stagy fashion statement these days!

Yesterday I and my friend were having a discussion about whether should we have confidence in karma or no.  I feel it’s all like all that dramatic bullshit. You take a large idea, and give it a large meaning and poof! Karma gives people a misapprehension of reasonableness or equality when the world by and large is completely and utterly unfair. Even before I learned about Just-world hypothesis, I find the entire premise of karma ridiculous. People said: don't do bad things because Karma will get you. That's just utilitarianism, isn't it? So you do good things because Karma will reward you, not because it is the right thing to do; you don't do bad things because Karma will punish you, not because it is against your own personal principle and it might hurt other people. (I have similar despise for the heaven and hell system of most religions.)

And when you see something wrong, instead of speaking up and stepping up to fight against it, you hide and tell yourself "Karma will get him!" I can't wait for Karma to work, if something is wrong, I need to speak up. When I make conclusions I need to be true to my own belief regardless of what "Karma" would or would not do.

Chinese are huge on this entire karma thing; we have hundreds of different proverbs and phrases to express "what goes around comes around". I find it rather repulsive because I rarely see it act positively. People whine about bad things, and yet none of them do anything about it because "Karma will get the bad guys! They’ll get what they deserve!" I disgust it. You can't rely on some intergalactic force to do your own work.

And the worst part of "Karma", it empowers the concept of victim-blaming. If Karma does exist, bad things cannot happen to good people. In other words, if bad things happened to you, you must have done something to deserve it. We see it all the time in many rapes, murder, etc cases these days. People talked about it everywhere, while there's much compassion for those victims, some people always say something like "well, they must have done something to deserve that".

So no. I don't believe in Karma. I don't believe AIDS babies had done something to deserve their fate. I don't believe women being beaten up by their husbands because they have done something wrong in their lives. And I certainly won't wait for Karma to get to the bad guys if I can do something about it, even if it’s just speaking up.  In short, we basically should not believe in any philosophy which weakens your belief in yourself. That is the crux.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

You cannot change others, you can only change yourself!

Okay, here is a hard one to learn; we can’t change others but we can change ourselves.  Why do I say it is hard?  Because we are so attached to proving our genuineness, intent or evenhandedness,  that we keep coming up with different ways to make our point even if every attempt only brings us aggravation and disenchantment.

There is nothing wrong with trying to commune our thoughts and feelings but what becomes a waste is when it is obvious that the recipient is not ready or doesn’t want to see things in a different way.  They are stuck in their position and methodology and they are not going to change no matter what we do.

So when we come to that point, then it is time to let go and change our retort and outlook.  Continuing doing the same reaching out or trying to come up with different ways to still make our point, becomes a manifestation of our own powerlessness to accept that which we have no control.  I know it is excruciating because none of us want to give up on having optimistic communication and interaction but again sometimes it’s just not possible.  Once we accept that as a fact then it is time to stop trying and embrace things as they are.

That’s when our own transformation takes place.  We stop trying and we shield ourselves from the unremitting prejudice.  We change our behavior to stop our expectations and we accept realism.  In time the aggravation diminishes and the possibility of a different connection opens up.  Trusting the procedure allows for different outcomes, maybe not the ones we hoped for, but one of less rage, hassle, and nuisance.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

How to stop giving a flying fuck about what others think of you

We're all guilty. Every day from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us. We accept the status quo for what it is because everyone around us does. We tiptoe our way through life by doing things in order to please others, not because it's what we believe in. Eventually, our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us. How are these pants going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I spoke out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me?

Living a life that follows the idyllic notions of what other people think is a terrible way to live. It makes you become the spineless spectator who waits for other people to take action first. It makes you become a hanger-on. Worst of all, it makes you become someone who doesn't take a stand for anything. Today is the last day we live a life verbalized by others. Today, we're going to get to the bottom of the truth. Today is the day we stop giving a Fuck

Believe it or not, we're not that special. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is those people are thinking the exact same thing. No one in today's "smartphone crazed" society has time in their schedule to think more than a brief second about us. The fact of the matter is, when we do have time get our thoughts straight, we're too busy thinking about ourselves and our own shortcomings, not others.

A study was done by the National Science Foundation claims that people have, on average, 50,000 plus thoughts a day. This means that even if someone thought about us ten times in one day, it's only 0.02% of their overall daily thoughts. It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think of most things relating to "me" or "my." This means that unless you have done something that directly affects another person or their life, they are not going to spend much time thinking about you at all. Even when provided with the blatantly obvious opportunity to judge someone, people are still thinking about how others may perceive them. Once you understand that this is how people's minds work, it's a big step towards freedom.

It's impossible to live up to everyone's expectations. There will always be people—no matter what we say or how we treat them—that will judge us. Whether you're at the gym, at work, taking the train, or even online playing pubg, scrabble, etc. Even now it's happening. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you.

Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen when someone is judging you or what you're doing. I guarantee that chances are nothing will happen. Absolutely nothing. No one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. Because as I mentioned before, no one actually cares. What will happen is that these people will actually respect you for claiming your ground. They may disagree with you, but they'll respect you.

Start standing up for what you believe in causes, opinions, anything. You're going to have people that disagree with you anyways, so why not express how you truly feel? I've learned that it's better to be loved by a few people you care about than to be liked by everyone. These are family, friends, your spouse the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people. They're the only people that matter.

The world is already full of people who obey the status quo. But the people who don't give a fuck are the ones that change the world. Be the latter. Start living life the way you want, be daring like you once were as a child, and always, always stand up for the truth. Someone has to.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Know your worth, hold your own power, be you.

I read this somewhere and I wanted to pen this on my blog right away.

For a long time in my 20’s and even into my 30’s, I was continuously chasing after people and friendships and things I thought were going to make me happy. A beautiful thing happened when I stopped the pursuit of happiness: I realized it had been here all along.

Now I just stay in one place and trust that the people and opportunities meant to be in my life will flow to me naturally and with straightforwardness and inevitability. I have solely and completely embraced I spending time with myself is something I actually apprize and look after now instead of run from. I haven’t “arrived” by any expanse of the imagination…but I have, at long last, reached a place of peace about the value that I possess and that I bring to other people’s lives and I no longer feel the need to chase anyone down to force them to see it. Because here’s the bottom line: If they can’t see the beauty and joy and richness that you bring into their life, they don’t belong in yours.

So stop careering today and standstill. I think you’ll be startled at how eloquent and purposeful your life will become the very minute you stop trying to prove your meaning and purpose to others. You need to love yourself. Love yourself so much to the point that your energy and aura rejects anyone who doesn’t know your worth.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

“Taking time for ourselves may seem selfish, as though we're avoiding our significant other,” “In reality, brief periods of solitude rejuvenate our soul batteries and allow to give even more to our spouses and to the relationship itself.” What they don't tell you about being 30-something is that it's OK to be egocentric sometimes. You're chasing after your own dreams and creating a path. You'll need a lot of "Me time" to figure it all out. There's a lot of heaviness that comes with surrounding yourself with people. You might not feel like you can totally be yourself, or find that you're following a crowd into a Friday or Saturday night plan you seriously didn't sign up for. That's why "Me time" in your 30s is so vital, and something we should always make room for in our diaries.

What you want becomes what is just next on your agenda. You start to lose interest in the things you used to love because you can’t enjoy them anymore as you are constantly moving to the next activity. Your career already expects so much of you but when you pile on a social life you lose the time for you to do what you want to do because you conform to what is on your itinerary. Whether that may be reading, writing, going on a run, painting, etc. It’s vital to take even an hour every day to be alone and focus on yourself. You stop taking the steps to take care of yourself because you no longer think about what you need to do in order to be the best you. We often feel so guilt-ridden when we need to separate ourselves from the rest of the world just to take a step back and focus on our lives. But if we can’t be 100% in fine fettle or at least striving to be, healthy relationships and positive thinking are nearly impossible to obtain.

The point of “me” time is less of what activities you want to be a part of and more of having time set aside to focus on yourself. It’s okay to stay in when everyone else is going out just to enjoy your own company. You need to be your own best advocate and friend. While you may have friends who you enjoy being around, it’s not an insult to say no to being with them when you are aware you’re not feeling well enough. In fact, saying no to someone just to have “me” time means you are strong enough to be alone without fear of judgment or worthlessness. It’s important to have activities that you can enjoy, but it’s not okay to only fill your time up with those. If the people around you are true and worthwhile, they will understand when you say you need time for yourself. They will understand when you say you cannot go out for a night. They will not only accept that but they will also cherish the fact that you care enough about yourself. It’s always motivational when you care enough about yourself to know that you are worth it and can love being alone.

The most important thing in life is you. Not that you are the center of the universe or that you are above anyone else, but when you start to put other things before yourself, you curtail how important you justly are and how much love you deserve. Even though you might not feel as if you’re worth it, you are worth a gold medal for being you. Or maybe you do know how much you’re substance. In that case, you are kicking ass. However, it’s important to be outside of yourself so you don’t become narrow-minded. Justin Vernon stated, “There’s only so much time digging through yourself before you become insular”. That basically means that there’s only so much time you can spend focusing on yourself before you shut yourself out from the world. Therefore, it’s not that you need to constantly be doing hard work on yourself and focusing on problems. Life’s greatest gifts come from knowing the importance of laughter and love. However, you do need to listen to your needs and then actually fulfill them.

Loving yourself should be the calmest thing. You get to own your culpabilities and timidities. You get to dare yourself to be better and to focus on your own prerequisites. You get to take care of yourself before anyone else does.

Happy me signing of….:)

Rab Rakha!!!!!

When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself !

Why do so many people feel the need to make fun of and judge others? This question crosses my mind daily. I wonder why we, as humans, feel the need to judge and degrade others. Its human nature to compare ourselves to others, whether it’s to our family members, peers or even celebrities we see in the media. We base our judgments of ourselves and others on these comparisons. Judging others sometimes gives people a sense of prestige because belittling others can create a false sense of security and identity. When it comes down to it, people are different. No two people are completely alike. We need to accept these differences and stop judging people. It is hurtful to them and makes the people ridiculing them look bad. Even if one does not verbalize their judgments, it does not mean their insensitive thoughts are acceptable. It goes with the saying: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

A famous quote by American author Dave Barry goes: “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you’ve been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.”

The world has seen efficacious people having multiple personas and charismas which are unbelievably inimitable. Every person has different potentials. Our current generation has become very judgemental in its approach towards people around them, which has resulted in constant criticism about people’s nature or quality. Why do we always look to find ways to bring someone down, just because of a few of negative attributes him or she has?

No matter where we travel, our nature and time have made it such that we mostly end up seeing others, as a machine that produces mistakes. For example, let’s highlight people’s understanding of various personality traits - as according to society, it is something which helps one gain an understanding of another individual. For instance, just because a person may tend to be voluble in nature, many people seem to classify this person as incorrect or imprudent, whereas in reality, he or she could be a highly intelligent person who could know more than what people think.

On the other hand, some people feel that introverts or people who are socially wary and find it difficult to talk to other people, are useless and won’t offer any help or give any advice in certain situations. However, it is true that each one of us is unique and have our own choices and preferences about people who we choose to surround ourselves with. But what has to be understood is that we need to stop being so critical and stop judging every personality. Instead, we need to start exploring and learning about what each one has to offer.

As St Mother Teresa once said, ‘If we keep judging everyone, we won’t have time to love anyone.’ We need to look towards this mantra and reflect. We need to think about our lives if we had followed this earlier. Surely our life would be happier and peaceful. It would be something more beautiful for each person to cherish.

Finally, as educated people, and respected people - whose main aim and purpose is to be a good human being and to realize that judging, and criticizing other people’s nature and faults, is not the way to become a good person. Only values have the answer. Always remember, treat others how you want to be treated.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Corporate Chamchas or Chamchi’s- in-Chief

Chamchagiri is known as the unofficial code of conduct. Chamchas -literally 'spoons', perhaps because the one who plays this role feeds the ego of the one being toadied up to abound in all Indian walks of life. In the corporate world, they are also referred to as 'yes men or yes women' who have morphed the Cartesian 'I think therefore I am' to 'I flatter, therefore aye am'.

These people send half or information with their much-added masala to the bosses. When there's a meeting you would be shocked to notice how they go all-out to give their best with appearances, presentations, notepads etc.  And ah when the meeting is over they hang around sip tea kill time. Those who know this `late-lateef' pseudonym do the nod-wink-n five minutes ago; she was at her bitchy best. Suddenly she's Miss All Concern. Wide-eyed, brows furrowed, she purrs “So how is your life going with other colleagues to extract the maximum information to her benefit and oh wow not to forget she will add her classic tadka of blather to it and pass it on further.

Chamchas, are the boss' best radar systems. Like feeding a child, the lackeys feed information to the boss, normally adverse reports about colleagues. Needless to say, the information is heavily spiced. "The boss also needs lots of interpersonal information about subordinates, which these wily men and women deliver.'' Then, `chamchas' sweat it out in giving the boss ``some ego massage.''

But, why does a `chamcha' become a `chamcha'? "Chamchagiri is a quest for influence. And influence comes through linkages. Be it a one-room office or a major corporate with thousands of employees, `chamchas' are omnipresent buttering the bosses. For all the effort, however, they do not get much. "Contrary to the general impression, they do not go up the promotion ladder fast. They get small advantages like flaunting their so-called proximity to the boss and making others jealous. `They also use the name of the boss and get things done. Obviously, a subordinate would never question a `chamcha' when he tells him that the boss would like a particular work to be done. He would never call up the boss and ask him whether he had given the instructions, right.''

Chamchi Queen and chamcha kings are super self-styled pseudos and want colleagues to barf on to their tunes and oh not to forget to save their asses they can use info of colleagues to win brownie points or be in good books of bosses. The same drill of that one person doing that little extra that's clearly for the individual and can best fit for the organization. At least one such creature is present in every office. Frankly, don't grudge the Chamchi Queen or king. She has a skill set and talents that take her far, abilities most can pick up but choose not to as outside in the corporate world no one would hire this person. Chamchi or chamcha behavior is thoroughly entertaining in most of the offices.  It's a classic act and you can waste precious moments predicting the chamchi's next move....add to that healthy guffaws and, hey, office don't look so bad after all.

Have chamchas, but do not be surrounded by them. Be transparent and cultivate an image of open-mindedness within the organization.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

No need to over-react. Enjoy being response-able!

It’s important to understand that your reaction or your response is your responsibility.

Whatever somebody else says or does or thinks that has nothing to do with you. That’s entirely on them. But your response is your responsibility: response-ability. Your reaction is your responsibility and that’s partly why the narcissists will focus so much on your reaction versus the actual abuse that took place.

It’s a fantastic misdirection practice and a dirty trick they play. So, how to deal with this, but I also want to tell you about the difference here, which is mindfulness. A reaction is an instantaneous reaction to something that happens. It’s like this stimulus happens and then you react in a certain way and it’s something emotional. Your behavior is driven by emotion and you haven’t thought about it. There’s no sensible or logical backing to that and you probably haven’t even thought about the outcomes.

When you really understand that you understand your power, you understand that reacting is giving away your power and responding is empowering yourself and not getting caught in that trap. When you were a child and someone yelled your name and you jumped and ran. Someone demanded that you do something, and you had to do it. You had to do it just like they said, or you were going to get punished and it was like the worst thing so of course, you learned to react without thinking.

Now, you have choices. During childhood you didn’t know, that was out of your control. It was unfair. It was a survival mechanism and you survived, and that’s the amazing thing.

And now as an adult, you have the choice in how you respond to everyday life. Anything can happen in everyday life, whether it’s with the narcissist or something entirely unrelated, your response is your responsibility and it’s also your freedom of choice. Therefore, it’s empowering to respond instead of reacting.

You’ve got to put your ego aside and be willing to let them say whatever they’re going to say because you know you and you know that’s not true about you. It really comes down to the bottom line, do you want to be right or do you to be happy?

Sometimes you must make that choice, not always, but sometimes and most definitely when you’re dealing with a double-faced individual because they believe they’re always right and if you don’t agree with them then you’re wrong. So, you’re going to have to ask yourself that question when you want to get in there and defend yourself.

Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

If you choose happily, you’re just going to let that go. You’re going to let them say whatever they say and you’re just going to let it slide right off you because you know that’s not true.

It is up to us to choose how we react to the empty boats in our lives. We can either yell and scream at the empty boats and endure the collision or choose to get out of the way the best we can, accepting what happens, and do our best to continue on our way along the river. 

One of the great teachings in life is this: It doesn't matter what is happening. What matters is how we respond. How we respond is what determines our happiness and peace of mind.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Corporate Bullshitters

I read this article on LinkedIn and I so wanted to share it on my blog. So here it is.

 At 7:30 pm, three hours after the official closing time, it was finally our turn to go home. As we were about to leave the premises, my boss made a phone call to his boss. And this was our routine on almost all days: We often stayed back, and he always called his boss while leaving. Not only that but we also sometimes worked on public holidays when everyone else was enjoying with their families. After all, my immediate boss was one of the rising stars in the organization and was well-known for "going the extra miles (not just a mile)".

As a young graduate engineer, almost 30 years ago, this was my first foray into the corporate world, and little did I know that I was encountering the first specimen of what would turn out to be a special corporate species: Corporate Bullshitters or CBS in short.

CBS is that special breed of people who don’t do any solid work, but they create an undetectable illusion of superior performance and capabilities through a range of perception management strategies. And as a result, they miraculously rise in the corporate hierarchy like helium balloons.

This article is dedicating to the art of bullshitting and how it goes undetected in a typically hazy corporate environment.

Corporate population: Three-basket distribution

Over the last 30 years, I have had the privilege of working with a wide variety of people, and overall, the corporate population can be packed into three baskets:

• W-S
• S-W
• W+S
• W-S (Excellent work but not smart)

People falling in W-S basket are highly competent and do excellent work, but unfortunately, they lack the crucial ingredient required for corporate growth: Smartness. By smartness, I mean they are not fluent communicators and lack quick thinking on the feet. They may not dress as smartly as others and often project lack of self-confidence in meetings.

W-S are often overlooked for promotions, thanks to getting labeled as “not managerial or leadership" type. Being the weakest in the power pyramid, these people often take up the most difficult and challenging tasks—and get blamed first when things go wrong.

Overall, W-S form the backbone of an organization. (When they apply for leave, everyone worries about “Who will do the work?”)

Finally, on the backs of the W-S crowd, the people in the second basket (S-W) thrive.

S-W (Smart but no work)

S-W characters are incompetent and care a damn about actual work or team’s or organizational interests, and simply stay clear of any direct responsibilities. While personally not doing solid work, they relentlessly and ruthlessly delegate, and use the characters in the first basket (W-S) to get the things done. And when it comes to credit, they don't mind gobbling it all.

But S-W has one great strength, which enables them to sail smoothly: Smartness. They are master communicators and manipulators, and their body language is forceful. Projecting high self-confidence outside (even if they suffer from deep insecurities inside), they always give an impression of being a “driver" or "leader”.

S-W are often labeled as “leadership or managerial material” and enjoy steady growth in the corporate hierarchy.

W+S (Excellent work & also smart)

Few people are both great at work and smart to the optimum level. Deservedly, they rise to the very top of the corporate hierarchy. If S-W people feel shaky ever, it is in front of W+S characters.

So, which basket Corporate Bullshitters belong to? No guesses here! Obviously, CBS is the highly distilled version of the second basket (S-W) characters. I am sure you've come across a few exceptional characters in your career who are incompetent and irresponsible, but by the sheer power of their "talking talent", they end up becoming bosses of more competent people. How does it happen?

Deception of perception

Ideally, in an organization anyone not performing and contributing to the hard results should not survive, leave alone thrive. So how do CBs rise?

The answer lies in one word: Perception.

What we perceive is often not the whole reality. 

Unlike others, CBS know a little secret, which is their ticket to comfortable ride: There is performance and then there is a perception of performance. Their game plan comprises two simple steps:

Step 1: Surround yourself with the best performers and dump the real work on them.

Step 2: While work is taken care of by someone else, focus squarely on managing bosses' perceptions, which means fluent communications, forceful presence in meetings and projection of “managerial/leadership” traits.

This two-step strategy works well in typically hazy corporate environments where how you look, talk and walk often obscures what you actually do when you sit in the chair.

So can you spot a CB in the crowd?

Bullshitting: Classic symptoms

To spot Bullshitters around you, look at the “managerial” type of characters around you and ask the following questions:

Work-related symptoms

Teflon character: Who is like Teflon with nothing sticking to them? Who invariably stays clear of any direct responsibility for difficult, challenging work? (Classic CBs act like postman; any difficult stuff coming their way simply gets posted to others in the team.)

Busybody: Who stays busy with trivial stuff like attending useless meetings, touring here and there, emailing, shuffling some useless papers, etc. instead of doing solid work that requires focused attention? (CBS typically act busier than others.)

Exploiter: Who surrounds himself/herself with the best of the people available in the office--and exploits them? (CBS are like islands of incompetence in the sea of competence.)

Resource sucker: Who wants more and more resources and always remains on the lookout to corner more people into the department? (Highly insecure, CBS keep sucking organizational resources in their direction.)

Perception-related symptoms

Master communicator: Who are the most fluent communicators with answers for anything, anytime?

Confident: Who projects a dominant presence in the office?

Informant: Who excels in "keeping the boss informed"?

Chameleon: Who behaves nicely with bosses and clients, but ruthlessly with own subordinates?

Extra miler: Who does nothing solid during the normal working hours, but can't stop "going the extra mile" by staying late, working on weekends--and even plugging in from vacation?

CBS thrive until…

So is the rise of Corporate Bullshitters unstoppable in an organization? Yes, until...

Performance becomes more important than the perception of performance

Is bullshitting possible in sports or art or music? Can you hide your performance at a football match or swimming competition or stage performance? No! In all situations where a person’s individual performance is on display for everyone to see in black and white, CBS have no chance of survival. I have seen the bottom of S-W basket falling off for some CBs when they suddenly meet a boss who squarely focuses on "performance"--and is too smart to be swayed by "smart talk" alone.

To conclude, nothing much has changed since I first entered the corporate world 30 years ago: Even today, in most organizations, despite elaborate appraisal systems, the perception of performance (staying late, talking smartly, acting confident, etc.) is mistaken as performance.

In the garden you pass by every day, if someone planted a few plastic flowers along with the real ones, would you be able to spot them? From a distance, you may not be able to see the difference unless you go really close. Same is the situation in many organizations where Bullshitters mingle among real performers--and bloom. And typically, like plastic flowers, they go undetected and outlast the real flowers.

In the words of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (remember Sherlock Holmes?): "There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact."

The reality of a person's character, competence and contribution often lie behind the smoke screen of our quick perceptions. Ignore the smoke!

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Make somebody happy today. Mind your own business!

Do you ever feel like people are judging your actions? Why do people feel the need to make others feel like crap about the decisions they make? Do you ever find yourself filled with anxiety when thinking this way? Often people become so preoccupied with the opinions of others that it limits their potential in any given situation. Whom people choose to associate with is their opinion and no one else’s business. Making people feel bad for their personal decisions is selfish and completely immature.

People who are unable to mind their own business are most likely on the inside wretched. They seek to find faults within others just to make themselves feel better. Offering insight to a friend whose present situation seems distressed can be helpful at times but there is only so much advice you can give without pushing the limits. Even if you don’t agree with what someone else is doing sometimes, you need to take a backseat and let them make their own mistakes.

“Everyone has faults and there is a fine line in helping someone get through their indiscretions and rebuking them for it. It's easier said than done for people to help each other rather than hurt, because some people might not even be aware that they are simply being a pain in the rear end versus being helpful.”

For some reason, it is common for people to pass judgment on others' relationships. Don’t like their relationship status? Just be happy it isn’t yours. If someone is happy and you simply don’t agree, do not offer your opinion if it wasn’t asked for.

Just because you don’t understand the relationship does not mean it is bad; if it works for others, let it be and stay out of it. It is as simple as that. If everyone just stopped offering their outlook on things and waited for it to be requested, there would be a whole lot less drama in this world. A relationship only involves two people, not every associate or friend these people have.

If you are not friends with a person and he or she does not personally know you, then do not make the mistake of letting his or her opinions and attitudes persuade you. These types of people thrive for attention and live for chaos. They tend to lead boring lives and have no excitement in their own, so they act in this manner to create something out of nothing. They seek to fill the gap in their lives by discussing the lives of others by judging them ruthlessly so that they can feel better about their own miserable existences.

“What I choose to do with my life is my choice and not yours, and what choices I decide to make is mine and mine only, and who I associate myself with is my decision and it's none of your business.”

People are too quick to judge other people’s shortcomings but are reluctant to look internally and evaluate their own. Some people just have nothing better to do than to gossip about others. They just seek to cause trouble because they thrive on drama. These people need to get a reality check and realize that this is an immature way to go about life.

If any situation doesn't involve you, instead of getting in the middle or putting your two cents in, you should mind your own business. If a situation concerns you or you have experienced something of a similar nature, then it's time to stand up and to talk.

There are people in your life that will always have your best interest at heart, so it is important to value those opinions. However, often there are people in your life that seem to be on your side, but when push comes to shove, they will judge you harder than your worst critic. These people are detrimental and will relish in your shortcomings while continuously pointing them out every chance they have.

“Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who you are and your reputation is only what people think of you.” If you are happy with who you are as a person, other people’s opinions should not even faze you. Everyone has their own battles to fight and insecurities to face and these challenges would be a lot easier to overcome if other people weren’t forcing their unwarranted opinions onto them.

Why is this such a difficult concept for people to grasp? Shouldn’t this be common sense? Even if people care, most of them are ill-equipped to give advice based on another person's needs and typically want to feel as if someone is listening to them. Giving advice is usually about the ego of the advice-giver, not the feelings of the person being given the advice.

Let the refining and improving your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.”The best way to tackle nosy people is to ignore them and to let them say what they say and keep moving on with your life. This will hopefully set them right. Try not to lose your temper for such people, as some do it unknowingly and some do it knowingly to irritate you. It is, unfortunately, the way of life, you will come across many people like this, it's better to keep your mind cool and to respond to those whom you feel are important to you so that they may talk sense to you and about you.

Rab Rakha!!!!!