I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

“Taking time for ourselves may seem selfish, as though we're avoiding our significant other,” “In reality, brief periods of solitude rejuvenate our soul batteries and allow to give even more to our spouses and to the relationship itself.” What they don't tell you about being 30-something is that it's OK to be egocentric sometimes. You're chasing after your own dreams and creating a path. You'll need a lot of "Me time" to figure it all out. There's a lot of heaviness that comes with surrounding yourself with people. You might not feel like you can totally be yourself, or find that you're following a crowd into a Friday or Saturday night plan you seriously didn't sign up for. That's why "Me time" in your 30s is so vital, and something we should always make room for in our diaries.

What you want becomes what is just next on your agenda. You start to lose interest in the things you used to love because you can’t enjoy them anymore as you are constantly moving to the next activity. Your career already expects so much of you but when you pile on a social life you lose the time for you to do what you want to do because you conform to what is on your itinerary. Whether that may be reading, writing, going on a run, painting, etc. It’s vital to take even an hour every day to be alone and focus on yourself. You stop taking the steps to take care of yourself because you no longer think about what you need to do in order to be the best you. We often feel so guilt-ridden when we need to separate ourselves from the rest of the world just to take a step back and focus on our lives. But if we can’t be 100% in fine fettle or at least striving to be, healthy relationships and positive thinking are nearly impossible to obtain.

The point of “me” time is less of what activities you want to be a part of and more of having time set aside to focus on yourself. It’s okay to stay in when everyone else is going out just to enjoy your own company. You need to be your own best advocate and friend. While you may have friends who you enjoy being around, it’s not an insult to say no to being with them when you are aware you’re not feeling well enough. In fact, saying no to someone just to have “me” time means you are strong enough to be alone without fear of judgment or worthlessness. It’s important to have activities that you can enjoy, but it’s not okay to only fill your time up with those. If the people around you are true and worthwhile, they will understand when you say you need time for yourself. They will understand when you say you cannot go out for a night. They will not only accept that but they will also cherish the fact that you care enough about yourself. It’s always motivational when you care enough about yourself to know that you are worth it and can love being alone.

The most important thing in life is you. Not that you are the center of the universe or that you are above anyone else, but when you start to put other things before yourself, you curtail how important you justly are and how much love you deserve. Even though you might not feel as if you’re worth it, you are worth a gold medal for being you. Or maybe you do know how much you’re substance. In that case, you are kicking ass. However, it’s important to be outside of yourself so you don’t become narrow-minded. Justin Vernon stated, “There’s only so much time digging through yourself before you become insular”. That basically means that there’s only so much time you can spend focusing on yourself before you shut yourself out from the world. Therefore, it’s not that you need to constantly be doing hard work on yourself and focusing on problems. Life’s greatest gifts come from knowing the importance of laughter and love. However, you do need to listen to your needs and then actually fulfill them.

Loving yourself should be the calmest thing. You get to own your culpabilities and timidities. You get to dare yourself to be better and to focus on your own prerequisites. You get to take care of yourself before anyone else does.

Happy me signing of….:)

Rab Rakha!!!!!

When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself !

Why do so many people feel the need to make fun of and judge others? This question crosses my mind daily. I wonder why we, as humans, feel the need to judge and degrade others. Its human nature to compare ourselves to others, whether it’s to our family members, peers or even celebrities we see in the media. We base our judgments of ourselves and others on these comparisons. Judging others sometimes gives people a sense of prestige because belittling others can create a false sense of security and identity. When it comes down to it, people are different. No two people are completely alike. We need to accept these differences and stop judging people. It is hurtful to them and makes the people ridiculing them look bad. Even if one does not verbalize their judgments, it does not mean their insensitive thoughts are acceptable. It goes with the saying: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

A famous quote by American author Dave Barry goes: “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you’ve been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.”

The world has seen efficacious people having multiple personas and charismas which are unbelievably inimitable. Every person has different potentials. Our current generation has become very judgemental in its approach towards people around them, which has resulted in constant criticism about people’s nature or quality. Why do we always look to find ways to bring someone down, just because of a few of negative attributes him or she has?

No matter where we travel, our nature and time have made it such that we mostly end up seeing others, as a machine that produces mistakes. For example, let’s highlight people’s understanding of various personality traits - as according to society, it is something which helps one gain an understanding of another individual. For instance, just because a person may tend to be voluble in nature, many people seem to classify this person as incorrect or imprudent, whereas in reality, he or she could be a highly intelligent person who could know more than what people think.

On the other hand, some people feel that introverts or people who are socially wary and find it difficult to talk to other people, are useless and won’t offer any help or give any advice in certain situations. However, it is true that each one of us is unique and have our own choices and preferences about people who we choose to surround ourselves with. But what has to be understood is that we need to stop being so critical and stop judging every personality. Instead, we need to start exploring and learning about what each one has to offer.

As St Mother Teresa once said, ‘If we keep judging everyone, we won’t have time to love anyone.’ We need to look towards this mantra and reflect. We need to think about our lives if we had followed this earlier. Surely our life would be happier and peaceful. It would be something more beautiful for each person to cherish.

Finally, as educated people, and respected people - whose main aim and purpose is to be a good human being and to realize that judging, and criticizing other people’s nature and faults, is not the way to become a good person. Only values have the answer. Always remember, treat others how you want to be treated.

Rab Rakha!!!!!