Why You Should Absolutely, Definitely, Never Mix Business with Friends (Unless You Like Things That Work)

 Ah, the golden rule of adulthood: “Never mix business with friends.”

Because, of course, the ideal business partnership is between two people who barely know each other, don’t trust each other, and only communicate through painfully formal emails starting with “As per our last discussion…”

Yes, please — sign me up for that thrilling dynamic.

Let’s be clear: working with people you like is far too risky. What if you end up laughing in a meeting? What if you actually understand each other without needing a three-hour PowerPoint? Utter chaos.

Step 1: Always Choose Strangers Over Friends

Because strangers are so much safer.

You have no idea if they’re reliable, honest, or secretly collecting screenshots of your mistakes for a future HR complaint. But hey — at least you’re not friends, right?

Imagine the horror of working with someone who knows your birthday, your caffeine order, and your sense of humor. That level of comfort could lead to God forbid — trust.

Step 2: Keep Emotions Out of Business

Feelings? Ew. Empathy? Even worse.

In business, it’s much better to operate like a robot: efficient, emotionless, and completely replaceable. If someone’s going through a tough time, just send them a calendar invite titled “Discuss Deliverables.” That should help.Because nothing screams “professionalism” like pretending you don’t care about the people who help you pay your bills.

Step 3: Collaboration Is Overrated Anyway

When you’re friends, you can actually disagree openly — and we can’t have that. Better to have a team full of people who nod politely while secretly updating their résumés.Friends tend to challenge you, support you, and call out your bad ideas before you make them public.Terrible! Why would anyone want accountability and honesty when you could have gossip and passive-aggressive silence instead?

Step 4: Keep It All Transactional

Friendship blurs boundaries. Suddenly, you might care about someone’s growth or future.

You might even start helping them succeed beyond your own company — imagine that tragedy.

The goal, after all, is to clock in, clock out, and maintain that crisp, sterile distance that makes workplaces feel like air-conditioned prisons with free Wi-Fi.

Step 5: Remember, “It’s Just Business”

Ah, the favorite phrase of people who want to justify anything from betrayal to ghosting.

Sure, friendships require loyalty and empathy — but in business, those are liabilities, right?

Until, of course, the “professional” team collapses because no one actually trusts each other.

But hey — at least you never mixed friendship with business. Congratulations!

💡 The Ironic Truth:

Here’s the part they don’t tell you:

Every thriving company, from startups to family-run empires, is built on relationships. Real, messy, human ones.You can’t build loyalty without trust, or collaboration without connection.And often, friendship is just what business needs not as a weakness, but as its competitive edge. So yes, go ahead keep business and friendship separate.

Rab Rakha!!!!!