Art of Indifference

I think it is a curse to feel things strongly. To not be able to do something without investing your entire being in it. I know the process of building walls but once I allow someone through those doors, I don’t know how not to let myself be affected by them. How not to give everything I have, every thought, every moment and want a few in return.

 

I candidly wish that I knew how to merely float through life, without being affected by it. To love without wanting to be loved as ardently in return. To give attention without seeking it. I wish I were unmoved. Not so completely involved. I wish things or people did not affect me like they do. Or if that is asking the impossible, I wish I were smart enough to make-believe so without the truth reflecting on my face and in my words. 

 

Rab Rakha!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Approaching Confines....

Let’s just ignore the fact that I haven’t blogged in ages. Deal?

Deal.

Moving on…

I've been trying to push the boundaries of my placate zones in different aspects of my life. With any task, I can usually go only so far and pinball around in my own small space of acquaintance. I glance off off the same ideas over and over. But, how long before I hit TILT?

I've always fancied myself a bit of a chameleon. I take bits of what I see and know to help myself evolve. The problem is, I’m not finding my own way. When I recently started a project journal, I decided to stop allowing the lined pages confine me. I’m varying the size of my print, the margins and using words to carve pictures. For every little step across a line, I feel a little more liberated. And also a bit more inspired.

Creativity is something I always envy in others. Whether it’s writing, art, cooking, fashion, anything really. I’m always thinking, I wish I had that cleverness. Now, I do think that this is not always a learned thing. Some people are just born with that door open. However, I don’t like limits and I do believe that you can be taught, accustomed, to a certain degree.

So this is my current self-improvement project. Pushing my boundaries. Letting my brain forget about common practices and finding what works for me. I’m hoping to pick up some forgotten art projects to give me a push in the right direction.

Even if your goal is to write, exercising your mind in other areas helps you branch out. If I can pick up a project, I can look at it and see how to make it better. I can dig in and clip here, add there. The same goes for my writing. Editing is like pruning the rose bush. Or adding a red stripe to that abstract painting. And the more I push my creativity, the better that final product is going to be. 

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Creating ties...

Most of us need and want more connection and closeness with those in our lives. However, we have many things that keep us separate and distant from them.

What creates closeness and loving connections with those we love?

There are many theories and methods people have touted as keys to creating loving and close relationships.

It is being validated and being heard.

Sounds simple and easy doesn’t it.  Just listen to your loved ones.

However, it is not so easy to really listen, given our life that we create around us.

In order to create closeness and truly listen, I must stop what I’m doing and tune in to the other person.

This requires 100% presence and not holding my cell phone, checking emails, cooking dinner, working, doing laundry, thinking about what I have to do after this conversation or listening to music.

Tuning in to the moment and being fully here now is the one way  you can create.

It also requires that you don’t interrupt and try to fix the problem yourself or fix the person in that moment.  It means listening and hearing the person.

How often do people you love actually sit with you and truly give you their undivided attention and hear what you are saying?

This is a gift that brings the closeness you are seeking.

Remember a time when you felt heard and understood?  Remember the positive sensations that ran through you and how you felt about that person following that experience?

Being heard and validated for our own experience is the most powerful gift of love there is.  For actions always speak louder than words.

So next time don’t just say I love you.  Show them you love them by tuning in, really listening and give the present of your presence.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Find magic in life

I have been dreaming again. You know the outlawed kind. We are quick to blameworthiness the world. Someone - something must have done something that this dreadful tragedy happened. Someone must have illicit it on me to not dream. Something must have happened. I wondered about that for so long. 

But really, it was me. I don't remember exactly when, but at some point, I forbade myself to dream. I don't know how. I took off my rose colored glasses and saw the world as it was and decided that dreaming wasn't worth it anymore. Things weren't going to get any better than they were and living in realism means accepting it. Eyes on the road, feet on the ground. Let's follow the path. Let's not make it. Let's not pretend like someday we'll be flown off our feet. Let's not give love too much thought. It is, but a dream. Let's hope that someone will take pity on us and walk with us for a while, and that would be enough. 

The magic in life - the magic that makes you breathe and bleed, it is but a chimera. A child's play. A party trick. But God, almighty God, isn't that the most beautiful thing you have ever seen - ever felt? Dreaming about magic, dreaming about the possibility that you could be better than who you are right now, dreaming about a whiff of happiness. Dreaming that your life could matter.  

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Do what makes you happy...

Some people will never "get you". Try not to spend perpetuity asking why. Sometimes there is just no connection. No matter what you do, you won’t find one. Those people will continue to see you in a different way. So, you must attach importance to those who lift your heart. And while you are at it, surround yourself with people who lift you higher. There are always a few; you are just not looking around because you are absorbed too much on the people who will never "get you". The world is already filled with those who want to bring you down. 

The most gutsy decision you will ever make is to finally let go of whatever is hurting your heart and soul. Make it. Now is the time. Some things are intense. You must let them go. It is not your encumber to bear. 

If someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. People will do anything, no matter how bizarre, to avoid facing their own souls. Do not be one of those people. It’s time to start living the life you always dreamed about.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Money rules the world.....bitter truth

It seems MONEY or even FUTURE MONEY (read as "CREDIT") can buy one just about anything..

So what all can money buy you???

• Clothes
• Shoes
• Accessories / Cosmetics
• House (or houses)
• Car (Or cars) 
• Travel by any mode (Air / Train / Bus / Auto / Horse / Cart, etc etc.)
•  Holidays
• Entertainment - Let your imagination run wild! (Outings / Movies / Dinners, etc etc etc. 
• Electronics
• Pets
• Lifestyle
• Luxuries
• Companies
• Services
• Medical Care 
• Financial Assets
• Vanities
• ... and many more things, which you do not really NEED today!

And if you thought that's it.. There is more that MONEY can buy

• A life partner / spouse
• Experiences
• Fake Love (and sometimes even TRUE LOVE!)
• A social image
• A social network
• Your child's love (for a few minutes! especially with all the material stuff)
• And even a child (Adoption / Surrogacy, at all)

And if you thought that's it.. There's more that MONEY can buy

• Admissions
• Certificates
• Degrees
• Jobs
• Careers
• Promotions
• Power
• Publicity

And if you thought that's it... There's more that MONEY can buy

• Lies
• News
• Views
• Truth
• Speed
• The law
• Policies
• Reforms
• Opinions 
• Partnerships
• Associations
• Networks
• Collaborations
• Powerful and Influential friends

And then I can't help but wonder..

Can money buy even these? 

• Past
• Dreams
• Hopes
• Love
• Values
• Relationships
• Character
• ... and even your CONSCIOUS?

It appears that in today's day and age.. MONEY can indeed buy you just about EVERYTHING! That is why they say it is indeed MONEY that makes the WORLD go ROUND & ROUND!

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Do you know where to draw the line?

When any relationship starts, it begins in either of the two ways below

• With a THICK line between two people clearly defining boundaries. Classic examples are friends, work colleagues, couple, etc.
• With no real lines and no specific boundaries. Classic examples are parents & children, siblings, etc.

Over time relationships grow and as they evolve - they end up in either of the two ways below:

• With well-defined lines between two people clearly defining boundaries, what's OK and what's NOT OK 
• With hazy lines and no specific boundaries, no real clarity on what's OK and what's NOT OK.

Now here-in lies the problem..

if a relationship has "hazy lines and no specific boundaries, no real clarity on what's OK and what's NOT OK" - At some point, one thing is bound to happen - One starts taking things for GRANTED. And beyond a point, that's NOT OK with most people...

So what happens?

Things are said which hurt

Things are done which hurt

Things are ignored which hurt

And that puts permanent cracks between people in a beautiful relationship 

So what can be done to avoid this?

Well I think "Drawing the line" in relationships before its too LATE

Be it with your parents

Be it with your children

Be it with your spouse

Be it with your friends

Be it with your family

Be it with your colleagues

Be it with just about anyone

Learn to draw the lines

Sooner than Later

Let them know what's OK

Let them know what's NOT OK

So, Do you know where to draw the line? If not, it's food for thought!

Rab Rakha!!!!!