Lungful of Space in a Marriage

These days, it is common to see every other marriage breaking apart in, just a few years after the grand wedding day. The main reason lays somewhere else it’s due to the hindrance and the torment one faces due to some double faces tugs, when the girl comes in with her dreams and they are all washed away once she starts her married life. Instead of happiness she gets agony, pain and no support.

My married life was ruined by the intrusion from my mother in law, sister in law and my husband’s so called best friend(later I got to know she had other interests in him) all these 3 together use to brain wash him. The urge to interfere in the married of son/brother/best friend, stemmed from a strong possessive/domineering feeling on the part of the later. Bit by bit, the tentacles of possessiveness start spreading around in every aspect of the son's life, throttling me in every manner. I started gasping for breath and I was forced to look at everything from their point of view. Nothing was working out; I finally opted for peace of mind — by keeping silent and not reacting to anything. Many a times I even tried telling them this marriage is turning ugly due their behavior but in turn what I got was their thrashing.

They never let the love built between me and my husband instead gave rise to puzzlement and infused all sorts of things against me in his mind due to which he started hitting me. They many times even told me that he would believe them and not me and not to forget both mother, daughter and husband’s best friend (very close to my sister in law & mother in-law) use to create all sorts of chaos to ruin my marriage.  I don’t know what kind of a mother and sister would another lady come in front, it had gone so worse that my mother in law and sister in law use to do all planning and plotting against me with her for their interests best known to them.

Why is it that the mothers and sister of adult son/brother find it difficult to let go of the attachment, which blinds their eyes and makes them do despicable things? They wanted to ensure that no emotional intimacy develops between him and me, why get him married in the first place? And ruin someone’s life. Only thing they wanted was the son to extract money from me and my parents. They never thought of my dreams and ideas about my married life? Why is it that they cannot trust their son/brother to remember his duties towards them, even if he got married? Is it the lack of faith in their own upbringing that makes them insecure?

If every day is a struggle, wherein the husband's behavior is dictated by the parents-in-law, my life was not panning out as I had dreamt and every aspect of my life was persistently monitored and supervised by them, right from what to eat, what to wear, when to sleep, what happiness did I get? What is wrong if I wanted much needed personal space? Why was I called a family breaker when I have every right to a happy life and the choice to live the life I want? How can a woman who is independent in her professional life manage the contradictions in her personal life?

What about the son who is the common binding factor for both the parties involved? He is so completely brainwashed by them, that he started believing that his wife (ME) is really evil due to the drama & stories created by all three of them.

Would it not be easier for everyone, if the son's mother sister gracefully allowed the son and me to be at our own rather than make him hit me and breaking the relation? The breathing space certainly ensures a healthy and happy relation among all the people involved, for a lifetime.

But they had a different thing all planned and set for me which was to throw me out of their family and his life so that can get him married again for a vast sum of money and ruin some other girls life. What he and his family portrayed to me about their behavior and themselves before marriage and how they were from top to bottom poles apart.

Rab Rakha!!!!!