As long as karma exists, the world changes. There will always be karma to be taken care of!

 "What goes around comes around" or "as you sow, so shall you reap" is the basic understanding of how karma, the law of cause and effect, works. The word karma literally means "activity." Karma can be divided up into a few uncomplicated categories -- good, bad, individual and collective. Depending on one's actions, one will reap the fruits of those actions. The fruits may be sweet or sour, depending on the nature of the actions performed. Fruits can also be reaped in a collective manner if a group of people together perform a certain activity or activities.

Everything we say and do determines what's going to happen to us in the future. Whether we act honestly, dishonestly, help or hurt others, it all gets recorded and manifests as a karmic reaction either in this life or a future life. All karmic records are carried with the soul into the next life and body.

There is no exact formula that is provided for how and when karmic reactions will appear in our lives, but one can be sure they will appear in some form or other. One may be able to get away with a crime they committed, or avoid paying taxes, but according to karma, no one gets away with anything for long.

Often, when something goes wrong in our lives, and it just doesn't seem to make sense as to why it happened, it can be very bewildering. We can just be left standing there without any answers. I remember a very difficult time in my life, which threw my life into a spin. I asked myself why this was happening, and I came up with three possible answers:

1. God is cruel for letting things happen the way they are.

2. Things are happening completely by random chance and that there is no rhyme or reason behind them.

3. Perhaps in some inconceivable way, I had a hand in my own suffering, even if I wasn't able to recall what I had done.

I didn't like option two because I just couldn't accept that things were moving about randomly. I always felt there had to be some kind of order to the universe. Since I grew up believing in God, I was ready to wholeheartedly accept option one because this option allowed me to point a finger and express my anger and frustration at someone who I had worshiped all my life.

In search for an answer, I started reading our holy book texts which hinted at option three. This was even more difficult than the first option because now I couldn't really point a finger at anyone other than myself. This broadened my horizons about life and encouraged me to take responsibility for my own actions and not to place blame. It explained that each of my previous lives has impacted my subsequent lives and is probably affecting my current life.

A karmic reaction, good or bad, may or may not become manifest in the same life. It may manifest in a future life. It's also possible to get hit with a few reactions -- positive or negative -- at the same time. The simplest analogy I can think of for how karma works is that of a credit card purchase. You make the purchase now, but don't get hit with the bill for 30 days. If you made several purchases during one billing cycle, then you'll get hit with one big bill.

The natural question that arises is: "Why am I getting punished for something from a previous live if I can't even remember it?" Of course, we don't ask ourselves why good things happen to us. We simply accept the good thinking we deserve it or that we've earned it. We forget a lot of things we've done in the past, so what to speak of things done in a previous life. The most important lesson to learn is that we can become more mindful of our present actions to prepare our families and ourselves for a more prosperous future, both materially and spiritually.

An important question we should ask is: "Do we really want to remember our past lives?" The pain of dealing with the hardships of this one life is difficult enough. We can only imagine how long we would actually survive if the weight of our previous lives' pain and suffering were compounded onto our psyche. For the most part, it's probably a good thing that most people don't remember what happened in previous lives, so that we can start to move forward in our present life.

Karma doesn't translate into indifference towards the suffering of others. The mood should never be "too bad, it's their karma." The predominating principle should always be that of sympathy and compassion.

This can seem like such a vicious cycle of action and reaction. It's practically impossible to live in this world without doing some wrong, whether out of anger, revenge, or just inattention. The teachings of Guru Granth Sahib are all about breaking this cycle of karma and transcending the material world and regaining entrance into the spiritual world.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

A vicious circle of life and relationships....

A big hello to all my readers and thanks a ton for so many hits on my blog from all parts of the world who have been reading it and writing to me time and again to update my blog.

When I started blogging little did I know that my blog would get so many hits and likes on different social platform and medium.

I was speaking to few young girls from Degree College yesterday and one of them asked me “Why are relationships hard and why It seems that our life is full of difficulties in relationships with others (e.g. family members, friends, lovers etc.) Why do you think that is?

To which I said......

I heard this quote once, and it really hit home.  I wish I knew who to attribute it to... "Marriage is spending the rest of your life in a room that's too hot with someone who's spending the rest of her life in a room that's too cold." Relationships are hard because we naturally see things from our own standpoint and we have an easier said than done time seeing things from the other person's perspective.  As a result we leave the other person feeling like they are not appreciated, cared for, heard, etc, etc, etc.   Next time you're having trouble in any type of relationship, stop and try to put yourself in the other person's shoes.  What is it that he or she is looking for, what are the things that the other person values.  See if you can find a way to get what you need and at the same time, give that person some of what he or she needs.  Sometimes this means finding the middle ground, but sometimes this also means taking turns (you pick tonight's movie and I'll pick the next one). If we all are the same, life would be boring. My answer to why relationships are hard? It is because we choose to let them control us. I found that when I am easy going, I tend to let a lot of inconsequential things go by. I have learned that if something bothers me... say it to that persons face. I get it off my chest!  I am well liked from learning this peculiarity. I hold nothing back! (Except issues or anything that is discriminating and/or considered Harassment)People are quick-tempered sometimes.  And, we all have different likes and dislikes. I treat others how I want to be treated.

 To reduce the hard parts of a relationship all you can do is be totally candid from the beginning, say what you really want, don't want, and make it clear the relationship is not a reform school, they are getting you as is, and you are getting them as is.

Because of our human qualities relationships will always be messy. We come from different parents, schools, DNA, etc...

I know I sound like a relationship guru but nah it’s just Life experience and there’s no better teacher than life. Try. Whether you fail or succeed, it will be an experience :)

 Rab Rakha!!!!!

A man who disregards and hits his lady is the world’s greatest “Numbskull& Eunuch”

Every day, many women die as result of physical, mental, emotional torture and yes due to dowry to-- that's nearly thousands killed every year. "That number might not mean anything to you...unless the woman was your mother, your sister, your daughter," 

Women should know that love doesn't abuse you. It shouldn’t hurt you. Love cannot be redefined into. Remember the first time he raises his hand on you stop it then and there...Love is happiness, not being neglectful, caring, being respectful, providing, having standards, kindness, standing up for the right things.

If he checks your phone or shopping receipts, keeps a unvarying check on you something isn’t right. Controlling your partner in any way is damaging. “Emotional abuse is like being continuously kicked in the shins. It can be worse than getting one punch in the face, and it cements itself.”

Any man that hits a woman is not a real man, he’s a coward. A husband’s job is to protect her and stop anything bad happening in his wife’s life.  Abusing your partner is the opposite of that.

Domestic violence is often ignored as it usually happens behind closed doors and it can seem easier not to get involved. Yet, domestic violence continues to affect 1 in 4 women at some point in their lifetime, regardless of their background, career, race or age, and it is vital that we do something to protect those directly affected by the cruelty.

I think it is important to stand up against what is often a hidden crime and get men who hit women behind bars.

I don’t want any other lady to go through what I did when my husband Rinupal Bajwa use to hit me, as I know how many deaths she dies when she goes through this suffering. I feel government should pass such a law where such men are castrated lawfully. This would be a good lesson who for others to who think of hitting their wife's or girlfriends.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Introduction of the fraud family I was married to...

Many people who have been following my Blogposts, Twitter, etc have asked me time and again to write about the family I was married along with their names.  I got married in August 2014 in Mumbai with dreams of starting a new life and a future built out on love and trust in my new home. My parents were so assured that they were giving me into the hands of an educated guy; someone who would value their daughter and appreciate her.

After a few days of my marriage, not even a month I was evaluated on the dowry that I was given. My in-laws felt that it wasn’t enough – even though my dad had given all that he could. He had fulfilled every demand my in-laws had made and yet it did not satisfy them. My husband and in-laws felt that all that I had brought in with me was not enough. They were so disappointed that after a few months they began scheming on ways to end my marriage when I stopped asking my parents to fulfill their demands.

My resistance infuriated my husband and then he became violent. I hid his brutality from my parents thinking about their health. I never spoke of his foul behavior in worry that it would affect their health. My mother in law, sister in law and husband would summon me and make new dowry requests every day. Despite succumbing to their requests, my husband and in-laws treated me akin to a slave. They would snatch away my belongings. I was overburdened with domestic chores and on top of that, my in-laws’ attitude towards me left me emotionally and physically exhausted. But my husband would brazenly vindicate this abuse by saying, “I am giving you a roof, food, and shelter.”

My health started to deteriorate with each passing day. I had become an emotionally torn person. I became deprived of my individuality. With each day getting worse than the last, my life turned into a living hell. My marriage was completely devoid of any respect; I got none from my husband or his family. I was treated like a servant, was confined to the four walls of our house and was advised to ‘win hearts’ and not mope about my situation. Despite being his wife, I enjoyed no such place or position. There were restrictions laid upon me on going out by myself or my husband, and even staying in touch with my friends or family.

They wanted to exert control over every aspect of my life; I was forbidden from working or socializing and bound to them in every way. I was to say I felt suffocated it would be a gross understatement. I was imprisoned in my own house and would cry to my friend about my pain if I had the fortunate opportunity of talking to her. I would keep giving in to save my marriage and kept preventing the possibility of being a societal taboo; a divorced woman.

So here I introduce the fraudsters and con artists of my real life. Let me start with my mother in law first:

• Dalbir Kaur Bajwa(Mother-in-law): When you look at her for the first time, you would feel how well behaved and cultured this lady is. She will gain your confidence in the first meeting itself, with her true to life and big talks. Whereas the truth is for money this lady can go to any extent she conned her real sister by looting all her life savings and her flat. She is doing the same with her son in law and others. She often fools people by saying she is a widow and how she raised her kids without her husband. She is the main reason why her son and daughter have turned out like this. Her main maxim is to haul out as much money as she can to live a prolific life on other people's outlay. Ladies like her are a shame on motherhood& and being called a human being. She has a tendency of stealing and is a kleptomaniac which her real sister has also confirmed in a written statement given by her. Many times she stole money from my purse, my other expensive stuff like my cosmetics, footwear, jewelry, perfumes, etc. She was so domineering that many times she slept between both of us and didn’t allow her son as in my husband to speak to me or my parents. She after a few months of marriage when we were in Dubai told me to ask my dad to help them buy a flat in Dubai when I asked her why was this not asked or mentioned earlier she started calling me names. Whatever happened to me it was due to her and her daughter these two had done all the plotting of extracting dowry etc from me and my parents to satisfy their needs. She use to ask for a lot from my parents and later make a statement “Sanu Kuch ni Chaidha”. Off late, she has been doing the drama of paralysis and heart attack to dodge from police inquiries.

• Ritu Rai(Sister-in-law): She is someone when you meet her for the first time she will shower you with all the bogus love and blessings. Whereas the really she is wicked, evil, she is excellent at making fraud schemes and bringing them to implementation. She use to call me often at my workplace to squabble with me and very nattily use it to create a discrepancy between me and her brother (my husband). This lady is married to a man who is 4 years younger to her, in nine days they fell in love and seeing that he is from a well-off family she enforced him to get married to her. You would be shocked to know that her mother in law and sister in law were not present for her wedding. She went and booked the Gurudwara on her own with him so that she doesn’t miss out on this guy. They use to not allow me to speak to their other relatives as their glorious stories would come out. Ritu earlier wanted to marry her Massi’s sons (Aunt’s Son) as they were settled in Canada and her mother helped her in this so you can imagine what kind of people they are. When both Massi’s refused they started to look for other guys from rich families whom they could get her married to. She use to needle my husband as in her brother to beat me when she had come to Dubai and her to hit me when I tried to tell others what’s been happening with me.  Ritu’s husband had some case also against which my lawyer found out….here is the link (http://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/Gang-laundered-millions-fake-businesses/story-16837936-detail/story.html)  (http://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/Gang-laundered-millions-fake-businesses/story-16837936-detail/story.html#3) his name Deepak Rai his photograph is also printed in this above link. Her kids as in her daughters are following her footsteps they lie to people saying her husband is a very big businessman in Leicester and runs a factory which is again a lie. We believed them blindly which is our fault. The truth he is the 5^th pass and works in someone’s factory. Off late she is doing the drama of depression.

• Rinupal Bajwa(My Husband):  When I started speaking to him before marriage little did I know the man who appeared so sweet and so in love with me would turn out to be like this. All that mattered to him was my social status &money and nothing else. He often asked me to get a share in my father’s property after marriage.  I thought he loved me but no I was so mistaken.  He was just interested in my earnings and father's property. Later after marriage, I found about his drinking and smoking habits when I told his mother and asked her what is this I was told he does it out of stress and ask you, father, to help him by lending some money which gave me a shocker of my life.  Later it got worse when he started torturing me physically, mentally and emotionally. He kicked and punched me many times so that I myself leave the house and go. When I didn’t do so all three of them jointly threw me out of the house. His mother and sister use to ask him to go out and have relations as in go and sleep with other girls as well with Sonal Salvi to irritate me and make me feel jealous. When he use to lose his temper he use to hit me badly and well as just to frighten me he use to punch in the wall and do all sorts of things to terrify me as well as abuse me. He was about to get married to some other girl the cards were also printed but when the girl's family got to know what kind of pricks they are they called off the wedding and unluckily my family and I got conned.

 Some other traits of all three of them are:

Slapping themselves to prove their point and blackmailing by saying that their mother is a widow.

• Dalbir Bajwa & Ritu Rai buy alcohol&cigarettes for Rinupal Bajwa &Deepak Rai so you can imagine what kind of ladies they are. To show people they do path, another religious stuff and what not to show how much  god-fearing they are whereas the real them is poles apart

• Saying that their father was a very rich businessman but then they suffered losses and then gradually start by demanding money from others and promising them to return after a certain period or on monthly installments

• Saying Deepak Rai(Ritu Rai's Husband) runs a factory in the UK and is a rich businessman having a lot of property everywhere whereas he works for someone and is just a 5^th pass

• Being friends with the moneyed and eminent to add on to their class and extract money

• Stealing and asking for money in such ways that you can’t even think of

• Maintaining a bogus standard of living to show people they have huge contacts and to show a forged status

• Showering others with fake love and concern and then looting them

• To take the greatest benefit out from a person and then cut chords by blocking them on different social platforms so that their stories don't seep out

• Following the divide and rule, policy to create uncertainty in families or friends and slowly taking advantage of the situation

• To ask people to lend funds and then vanish after taking that money which Dalbir Bajwa takes advantage of due to her widow status and her old age

• They, in reality, advertise Rinupal Bajwa saying he is handsome and has a good job and then bit by bit start demanding funds in different forms

All three of them are fantastic actors and they can rip off anyone with their expressive drama and faces Beware…

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Be not another, if you can be yourself!

In this post, I want to question, do people around us know us? And why are we so afraid to be just ourselves.

I happened to read a quote on Twitter that said, “Inside every person you know, there is a person you don’t know.” How true is that! Sometimes, when we are going through a rough patch, we look at all the happy faces around us, and long to switch places not knowing if the picture is really as rosy as it appears.

Every person here has a world that we all see, and a world that we don’t. Every person here is not the person we really know! The lovey-dovey couple, holding hands while walking down the street, or in snapshots of their vacations, may as well be living a loveless life, their marriage on the verge of a breakdown. The display of affection may be just that – a display, a show put up for the world to notice them and nod its head in approval and amazement at a life filled with joy. We see the smiles on their faces and feel the pinch, when we find our own lives bereft of that love, that companionship. But, do we look closer, to see if their smiles reach their eyes?

The sunshine girl on your timeline, perpetually cheerful and full of energy, may be fighting demons of loneliness and despair. You’re most babble on friend, who enlivens the atmosphere at your friendly meets, may be battling frustration due to an unsuccessful career. The neighbor, who overwhelms you with her love and attention, may have a terrible life behind those closed doors. You never know! We, the social beings, rarely if ever, exhibit our true selves to the world with whom we socialize. And not just the world al fresco, but also the world, we live in close propinquity with – our family, our close friends. Our parents know us, but to a certain extent, and so do our siblings, with whom we grew up. Our partners often claim to know us, but, really, do they? Our closest friends, with whom we share our innermost feelings think that they know us well, know our secrets well, but do we really share every story of ours, every scar, every tear with them, either?

Impressions can be deceiving. It is a line that often comes to my mind, especially when I look at photographs shared on the social media. True. All that glitters is not gold. Every smile may not bloom from the bottom of the heart. It may just be pasted up there, on the face, for effect. So, why is it that we hide our true selves from our people? Why do we forget that we are all humans, with our own set of weaknesses, our idiosyncrasies, our handicaps? We all have a different life, a different story, which is not perfect in any way. Then, why the constant effort at putting up a facade of a perfect life? What is it that we would gain from this spuriousness?

I think, it is the fear of losing out on friendliness from our loved ones were they to see our true sides, which keeps us from sharing ourselves wholly with them. We believe in the aphorism, laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone so much, that we fear being alienated lest we reveal our true selves. I wish we could open ourselves up, to the people who care about us, who share their world with us. Hiding behind a mask can be taxing. Living our entire lives wrapped up in a garb of pretense can leave us fatigued. Not only that, after a period of time, the line between reality and make-believe blurs, leaving us confused, muddled up. Why can’t we accept our life as it is, and be proud of it? Why don’t we stop pining for a perfect world? Attain a perfect us? Life would be a lot easier, a lot clutter-free and a lot more genuine. But, the question is, do we have it in us to "come out of our closet?"

Give it a thought :) Life is short so stay true to yourself as well as others because sooner or later we all have to pay for our deeds in some manner or the other.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Saga Of The New Bride

Every bride has to step outside her comfort zone once married; the least the new family can do for her is to accept and treat her with respect and equality.

Marriage is a ceremony that usually follows the betrothal of a young couple. The ceremony marks the unity of two individuals and their families.

The above definition of marriage sounds like a perfectly coordinated set of events, where the story ends with a ‘happily ever after’. The practicalities that entail this union are much grimmer, especially for the bride.

The coy bride,

The sweet and oh! So beautiful bride,

She leaves a loving and caring home,

What she is not told is to leave her dreams and pride back home.

The bride, in most cultures, is the ‘new member’. She leaves the comfort of her familiar home. She leaves almost everything that is her own. She not only begins a new life with the man, but more often than not, accepts a whole new family along with holy matrimony.

The new family tends to treat her as a stranger from a distant land right from the initial meeting and greeting to all times to come. The alienation begins from the moment the ceremonies begin and they continue with each passing day, barring the exceptions when the husband or the new family demands love, warmth, affection and absolute reverence! The already-alienated bride is then expected to shoulder responsibilities (sometimes more than she can chew) in areas such as household, professional and most importantly, reproductive. In this entire process, neither the in-laws nor the spouse seem to be mindful of the expectations of the ‘new member’.

From the very childhood, most Indian families begin preparing their daughters for the prospect of future alienation that marriage entails. They share tales pressing hard on acceptable social behavior, norms for the new bride, and the effervescent stride with which the bride is to take everything that comes to her. If one were to view this from an optimist’s perspective, these would seem like sound advice where the lessons of patience, adjustment to new surroundings and unfaltering respect towards a ‘new family’ are preached.

On the other hand, the lessons preached to our men/husbands/sons-to-be may have the soundness of respecting your wife, respecting monogamy, but the most impactful of all advice's is the one that iterates the need to ‘be a man’.

Not only is the process unfair in its outlook, but also it is sometimes pathetic in practice. The battles to be fought are too many. The alienated bride does not even have the refuge of ‘being at home’, because that’s where all the battles are lost. The abundance of duties and responsibilities mound her heart and mind alike. The stress begins to seep in and the health of the mind and body deteriorates. The bride continues to struggle to make ends meet. She struggles in her smiles. She struggles at work. But all that she is greeted with is that ‘women have it easy’!

I don’t want to aim to allege or generalize all husbands or in-laws. It is an attempt to give some food for thought to the new families and their distant relatives around the unfair behavior meted out to the ‘new member’. Challenge after challenge comes until the bride is either tamed or accused of not being well-raised.

The bride leaves one home to make another. The least the ‘new family’ could do is to provide the same love and respect it extends to one of their own. The nourishment of the mind and soul is as necessary for the ‘new member’ as it is for you. Be mindful. Be fair.

I am writing this from my past experience. I stayed with them for a year and my life was no less than a new thrash about everyday where I couldn’t even tell my relatives at times as to what’s been happening with me thinking it would break my marriage but now when I think what’s the point to be in a family where a man is not a man enough to respect and love you. For them I was just a money vending machine to fulfill all their wants& luxuries which they couldn’t come up with the money for on their own. Their main intention was to keep extracting more and more money from me and my parents to gratify their greediness. The statement which my mother in law and sister in law use to often use was “Sanu kuch ni chahida” and ask for everything on all occasions from my parents. I use to hold back my anger, disappointment and tears resulting in me losing my real self and due to this last one year I have left my real myself so far behind that I found a new me.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Lungful of Space in a Marriage

These days, it is common to see every other marriage breaking apart in, just a few years after the grand wedding day. The main reason lays somewhere else it’s due to the hindrance and the torment one faces due to some double faces tugs, when the girl comes in with her dreams and they are all washed away once she starts her married life. Instead of happiness she gets agony, pain and no support.

My married life was ruined by the intrusion from my mother in law, sister in law and my husband’s so called best friend(later I got to know she had other interests in him) all these 3 together use to brain wash him. The urge to interfere in the married of son/brother/best friend, stemmed from a strong possessive/domineering feeling on the part of the later. Bit by bit, the tentacles of possessiveness start spreading around in every aspect of the son's life, throttling me in every manner. I started gasping for breath and I was forced to look at everything from their point of view. Nothing was working out; I finally opted for peace of mind — by keeping silent and not reacting to anything. Many a times I even tried telling them this marriage is turning ugly due their behavior but in turn what I got was their thrashing.

They never let the love built between me and my husband instead gave rise to puzzlement and infused all sorts of things against me in his mind due to which he started hitting me. They many times even told me that he would believe them and not me and not to forget both mother, daughter and husband’s best friend (very close to my sister in law & mother in-law) use to create all sorts of chaos to ruin my marriage.  I don’t know what kind of a mother and sister would another lady come in front, it had gone so worse that my mother in law and sister in law use to do all planning and plotting against me with her for their interests best known to them.

Why is it that the mothers and sister of adult son/brother find it difficult to let go of the attachment, which blinds their eyes and makes them do despicable things? They wanted to ensure that no emotional intimacy develops between him and me, why get him married in the first place? And ruin someone’s life. Only thing they wanted was the son to extract money from me and my parents. They never thought of my dreams and ideas about my married life? Why is it that they cannot trust their son/brother to remember his duties towards them, even if he got married? Is it the lack of faith in their own upbringing that makes them insecure?

If every day is a struggle, wherein the husband's behavior is dictated by the parents-in-law, my life was not panning out as I had dreamt and every aspect of my life was persistently monitored and supervised by them, right from what to eat, what to wear, when to sleep, what happiness did I get? What is wrong if I wanted much needed personal space? Why was I called a family breaker when I have every right to a happy life and the choice to live the life I want? How can a woman who is independent in her professional life manage the contradictions in her personal life?

What about the son who is the common binding factor for both the parties involved? He is so completely brainwashed by them, that he started believing that his wife (ME) is really evil due to the drama & stories created by all three of them.

Would it not be easier for everyone, if the son's mother sister gracefully allowed the son and me to be at our own rather than make him hit me and breaking the relation? The breathing space certainly ensures a healthy and happy relation among all the people involved, for a lifetime.

But they had a different thing all planned and set for me which was to throw me out of their family and his life so that can get him married again for a vast sum of money and ruin some other girls life. What he and his family portrayed to me about their behavior and themselves before marriage and how they were from top to bottom poles apart.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Demons I saw after my Marriage!

Here is a true story that I wish to narrate. I have suffered it. I believe that time waits for no man. This is the true story; I was undergoing the life that I had never ever imagined. I was the type who always dared to be different, a sort of pioneer and a leader or rather a trend-setter and very fun-loving kind.  I was the kind who in the face of hardship would walk fearlessly towards any challenges that life offered to me, always with a smile and positive vibrations running in every part of my system. I would go to the bottom-most level to seek the truth of any matter that disturbed me and one can be very sure that I was triumphant in all my endeavors before I got married.

I had a very middle class up-bringing as in spite of all luxuries my parents kept all 3 of us grounded. My parents had instilled enough of discipline in along with my other two siblings, to hold our heads high with pride, frankness and uprightness. I was brought up to believe that Justice will always win and to be as wholehearted about other's success as if it was our own. I was put in to one of the best School in Dalhousie for a proper and chaste moral discipline so it was expected that I was highly educated and had a very broad standpoint on life.

Now, you must be wondering, so what is special about me? Right? Nothing, only the fact that one person changed my whole life in a jiffy(rather the arranged marriage), a very neat and clean head-over-heels to the depths of agony and suffering which I am undergoing even today. I guess you would ask out of curiosity - "Who is it?" Patience, my dear friends!!! It is none other than my husband, mother-in-law and sister-in-law. From day one, they began their calculative mind, preying on my temperament, my father’s property, chastity and chalking out devious means to pull my virtue down, in their overly enthusiastic hunger for and greed for money, reputation and humiliation. They were the type who just could not bear the fact that someone could outsmart their son or outshine him in any field. In fact I loved my husband just too much, trusted him to the core about just everything under the sun, placing him on top priority every time

This reminds me of a quote by F.W. Robertson wherein he states that, " Marriage is not a union merely between two creatures - it is a union between two spirits; and the intention of that bond is to perfect the nature of both, by supplementing their deficiencies with the force of contrast, giving to each sex those excellencies in which it is naturally deficient; to the one, strength of character and firmness of moral will; to the other, sympathy, meekness, tenderness; and just so solemn and glorious as these ends are for which the union was intended, just so terrible are the consequences if it be perverted and abused; for there is no earthly relationship which has so much power to ennoble and to exalt."

They began by first trying to isolate their family from me. Cooking up tales, spinning yarns that were absolutely not true, but fabricated, so that his cousins and extended family drew themselves away from me, in every respect making me feel abandoned, deprived of love and security. What does a new bride do under these circumstances in a traditional marriage? I did not need the support of anyone else in the family other than my husband to whom I was betrothed to. When this is denied to my accessibility, what is left for me? Whom do I turn to? Where can one go?

Their next target was his friends, colleagues and their spouses and children. He realized that I was friendly with them, as I wanted to inter-act with someone. I was the type to make friends easily because of my nature. The day their ears were filled by my husband, sister in law and mother in law they too drifted away from me. So, you see how lonely can a husband and in-laws made me feel, after marriage. They made it a point that they will go to any length to make me as depressed as possible so that I would in due course destroy myself when driven against the wall. Not replete with this act of a demon, they began torturing me even more with each passing day by making demands of extracting more money from my parents and even to help them buy an apartment.

With help from my father I was offered a job as Senior branding and Training Executive in King Group Hospitality they run a chain of restaurants in Dubai. I was deprived of the basic amenities after marriage. The emotional and mental torture increased so much that I was not able to give attention to my job and my chairman who happens to be my father’s friend asked me to take a few months break and join again later. Little did he know that what was happening with me back home?

When my husband, mother in law and sister in law got to know this the torture worsened seeing all this I asked my parents to visit me in Dubai. I tried to tell my Sister in laws husband who has come to visit in Dubai for holiday from Leicester. But when saw this she and my husband quietly called me in the kitchen and hit me.

On 6^th August my parents came to visit me and they were shocked seeing me and my condition my mother just hugged me and started crying and mom dad saw their true colors little did they know that they were such demons who had no love and respect for their daughter or them. All what mattered to them was just money.

They took all my earnings, my entire gold, the cash which they demanded at the wedding and even after all this on 9^th august which was my anniversary day they threw me out of the house.

 Indian women are known for their sense of patience, their loyalty and perseverance in sticking on to a bond that they hold so sacred. But came a time when I saw the light of the day and told myself, " ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! Now what triggered this sea change in my attitude? Just a simple statement my  husband when he exclaimed, that shook the day lights out of my system, I have all these months looked upon you as just a W****!!!

Friends tell me, would any one of you withstand such an accusation coming from your husband and in-laws?

Today, I am fighting it legally desperately seeking justice.

I am sure that there are countless such stories with more misery that any human can bear to hear, read or speak about.

This is just awareness brought to you about Indian Marriages. Yes; people like me suffer, because today's world accepts people with low morals, low credibility and people who have no humaneness in them.
Hope I get justice so that no other girls questions her existence. 

Rab Rakha!!!!!