Why employees switch jobs so often?

Changing jobs regularly is a good thing, right? It’s a sign of ambition and drive, an indication that you want to improve your skills and experience. Or is it a sign of an inability to commit to a role, of someone who struggles to settle? If you are thinking about making a career move, you might want to consider what a frequent variation in direction might say about you.

Many things prompt us to want to change employers – some are out of our power, so in an effort to retake control of our lives, we place ourselves on the job market and some of us do it more often than others!

So, how often is too often? With social media seeming to constantly announce new roles for our friends and acquaintances, it might appear that nowadays, people job hop more often now than ever before.

I feel when the employee is not happy he or she looks for a change as per me these things can be done to retain their employees;

1.  Give your employees development and advancement opportunities: When you help people to grow and develop, the outcome is excellent. Good leaders ensure that the workplace keeps people advancing people into new career paths and those they're experiencing new roles and responsibilities. When employees grow, their productive capacity increases. When their productive capacity increases, the capacity of the organization increases. It's a thing of beauty which very few employers understand.

2.  Give your employees self-sufficiency: "Leadership is the art of giving people a platform for spreading ideas that work." What that means is people in charge of people must empower them to think on their own. After hiring the right people with the right skills for the job, and setting clear goals and expectations with deadlines and benchmarks, the next and highest priority is to give your people entrepreneurial rights; let them make decisions and own their work, and let them determine how to move forward. In other words, let them use their God-given brains! As you provide your clan with more independence, you'll notice an increase in inherent motivation, trust, and loyalty to the company. Another thing of beauty.

3.  Create a feedback culture: Let’s face it most managers don't like giving or accepting feedback. It's painful because you have to speak the truth, and plenty of people aren't ready to accept it. The culture of feedback in any organization helps everyone get and perform better and know there drawbacks which can be worked upon and things are constantly improving.

In simple words I would put it this way when you help others to do their jobs and set them up for success by implementing all of the above, you the leader will set yourself up for success. That's the ultimate thing of beauty.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

How to respond to falsifiers

The social world that we all follow includes the normalization of lying. White lies are expected, viewed to be a part of polite conversation and valuing the feelings of others over truth.

And if you don’t adhere to that world, others will hem and haw over the breach of social etiquette. They ask, “What’s wrong with you? Why couldn’t you be more polite? “That creates social pressure to get back into line and stick to the terms.

And we wonder why we have such a hard time forging trusting relationships with a relative, friend, or anyone. There is no getting around it. Lying is part of our culture and social world. You would think it would come as no great surprise when it happens, but it’s still easy to be blindsided and shocked when someone you thought you could trust lies to you.

But how should you respond when you find out someone has lied to you?

White lies are unfortunate, but they are a general part of social interaction and getting to know a person. However, it is not stroppy to expect a large amount of tactful truth from the people you are close to.

The weight of a lie should be assessed in the context of the situation as well as your relationship with the person. It is more forgivable to overlook a small lie told by a co-worker or acquaintance so as to avoid creating unnecessary drama in your life. Sometimes, people lie out of insecurity, fear, or nervousness without even realizing that they’re doing it. It’s a survival mechanism of sorts.

On the other hand, you should be able to expect the truth from family, good friends, or a significant other. Lies told in close relationships undercut confidence and connectivity with the people around you. And plenty of people out there do not have healthy relationships or families where people actually love and care about one another.

So ask: what are the situation and the milieu? What is the lie? And, most importantly, what is their reason for telling it?

One you thing you can do is Say nothing at all – do not respond

Not all battles are worth fighting. There are so many voices out there that preach that you must stand up for yourself! That people treat you the way you allow them to treat you! And that’s absolutely true. People, by and large, will treat you in the way that you allow them. But standing up for you does not have to mean yelling and arguing with anyone. It can also mean simply walking away from the people that disregard you.

The fact of the matter is, if you are in a position where you feel you need to “train” the people around you on how to treat you, it would be a much better idea for you to find a new group of people instead. Most people could change if they wanted to – but most don’t want to. Most don’t care either way. They are just trying to get through their day intact so they can get on with whatever it is they want to do.

Why waste months or years of your life trying to instil a basic level of respect in someone that couldn’t see enough value in you to do that initially? Doesn’t make much sense, really.

Oftentimes, the best response to a person lying to you is no response at all. Just file it away in your mind and keep moving forward. There is no reason to divulge everything you know. All confrontation usually gets you is more lies and manipulations. It happens. Not everything in life can be clear-cut and simple.

Other thing you can do is confront

The best way to confront a person is in a position of neutrality. You don’t want to be angry. If you are angry, it gives them ammunition to fire back at you, which will make you angrier, which will give them more ammunition, and on and on it goes. A calm approach gives you leverage to help determine the total truth.

Ask pointed, direct questions, and pay close attention to how the person responds. It’s common for a manipulator to throw out anger and try to instigate a fight, because it shifts a conversation to their terms. They may trot out phrases like, “I can’t believe you don’t trust me!?” and “Why would you accuse me of that?” as they try and shift the blame back to you.

Again, pick your battles. Not every battle is worth fighting. And if the person is habitually dishonest, then you’re not going to make any real progress. What often happens is the liar will simply apologize to you (even if they aren’t sorry), assure you that it will never happen again (which it probably will), and then you repeat the cycle over and over for years until you realize that they’re not going to change.

The way of the world…

We must all make choices about how we navigate life and who we let into our personal space. The most important thing to remember is that you cannot control the decisions of others. There is little reason to allow a manipulator or falsifier to negatively impact your life. The more time you give to them, the less time you have for yourself or for kind people. Don’t waste your time and life on people you need to force honesty from. And if you do, don’t be surprised if they betray you again further down the road. People can change if they want to, but most don’t because change is hard or they just don’t see an issue with their behaviour. That’s on them.

All you can really do is decide what you are willing to tolerate and what you should walk away from :)

Rab Rakha!!!!!

My Advice for Newlyweds

Here are some tips to help you thrive in your first year of marriage everyone wants a happy family whether it is joint or nuclear. But yes harmony is the most important thing.If it’s become really problematic to deal with your in-laws then you left with no other option.

Husband and wives tuning plays a very imperative role. But in arranged marriages, it takes time for a couple to understand each other. There are always two sides of a coin. I have seen many mothers who genuinely take advantage of their son's love for them. It’s expected that a mother wants her son to be like the way he used to be before marriage. They become diffident and then start doing things that really creates a problem for a newlywed gal. On the other hand, the girl who left everyone for her husband wants to be his first priority for an obvious reason.

Here the role of husband/son is very crucial. He should not be partial towards anyone and takes the right side.

To avoid this few things are very important:-

• Boy’s parents should not interfere in the couples matters. They should not forget that the married couple is adult enough to take care of their things.

• Time is changing so as the thoughts but there are people who still want to follow the same rule which is next to impossible now. E.g. a guy is not required to adjust to the girl’s family as he is not going there but the girl has to do because she used to come and stay here. Kindly remember one thing that all the relationship is based on give and take concept. You stand for her family and she will stand for yours.

• Starting years of marriage is very crucial specifically in arranged marriages. It can either make it or break it. You need to give time and should be together to understand each other well. And probably this becomes difficult in a joint family. (And let me tell you one thing that’s the reason why guy’s mom don’t want him to do a love marriage because couples already share a connection with each other)

• The couple needs to sit together and share the problem. But one thing is also important here, most guys just can’t take this that their wife is complaining about her, obviously, she is his mother, but you can’t be partial after marriage. If your wife can’t take place of your mom then also your mom can’t take place of your wife.

• Remember, that people marry because parents can’t be there for you always (both girls and boys parents) and that’s why we need a companion with whom we can grow old.

• The only girl can do such sacrifices for a single person (husband) that she moves out of her family, loved ones to make a house with her husband so I think they deserve to be your priority.

Never leave your parents (emotionally). And this is for both guy and girl. But yes if things are getting bitter than it is better to maintain a healthy distance and secure both the relationships rather complicating it more.

Last but not the least: Why we always raise this question that whether the girl is keeping her in-laws happy or not, Why we don’t think if she is happy in that house or not?She came from a different family leaving everyone behind all her loved ones her comfort zone. It’s everyone's responsibility to make her feel like home and be comfortable so that this question will never rise again.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Stuff women are tired of hearing!

Though we live in a world which is slowly and hopefully moving towards women's liberation, there are certain things that women have been hearing for years now. And, honestly, nobody should be allowed to make these avowals to any woman. They leave us feeling self-conscious, uncomfortable, misjudged, demeaned and typecast. We’re sure you’ve heard a few of these:

• You seem moody, is it that time of the month?
• Don't be so sensitive.
• But, you should be flattered you receive that kind of attention.
• Why are you eating a salad? Why are you eating a burger? Are you on a diet?
• You don't have much time left to have children." “Isn’t your biological clock ticking?
• Do you need help with that?
• You curse/eat/drink a lot for a girl.
• Relax, it was just a joke.
• That wasn't sexism that was just [explanation].
• Are you sure you should do that alone?
• You're being too picky.
• Calm down!
• Don’t cut your hair so short, you look like a boy.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

People marry for many reasons, most often including one or more of the following: legal, social, emotional, economic, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, and the establishment of a family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of love. Here’s my take to make sure your marriage is a happy one.

• Being mentally prepared to make adjustments with each other regarding various issues in life. In order to have an even-tempered life, we must be mentally prepared before the married life begins. Pre-marital talk is a very good idea where the couple can discuss discrepant areas such as varied economic/social backgrounds etc

• Communication is the most essential part of a relationship

• Compromise& Cooperation – making steps towards each other in fiddly conditions ....When there is love one doesn’t feel it’s a compromise, and then it’s just a step towards making each other cheerier!

• Having admiration & respect towards each other. It’s essential to respect each other’s social, economic, cultural, physical, emotional differences. Respecting your partner especially during fights. Strict no to unmannerly language. Even respecting the way another person has been brought up or how their parenting styles have been.

• Space- Giving some time off from each other without any whinges or peevish. Each one of us needs some –me only–time which is required for one’s personal, physical & spiritual growth. So giving time off to each other to visit parents by themselves or visit friend

• Learning to agree to disagree- having respect for each other even after and while disagreeing with each other is important. Talking out issues is essential and not fighting back with rude statements. Healthy arguments help us learn & move fwd.

• Usually, the usual schedules lead to a very monotonous life making either or both feel stifled in the relationship. Breaking this fixed schedule and involving in activities together such as more time spent with each other, planning a vacation, candlelight dinners, adventure activities etc. Will rejuvenate both.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Societal Expectations of Women That Need to Die

Men and women have always had different expectations in society. That’s the way history has played out and continues to play out today. As women gained more equality, doors were opened to more opportunities.

Despite the advances women have made, there is obviously more changes that need to happen. One of the many expectations that need to change is the idea of “having it all.”

What does that mean?

The first thing I want to note is that “having it all” is a phrase not directed at the population at large. It is specified to women and women only.

Why?
I’m honestly not sure. I’m assuming because society believes that men already have it all. So someone concocted this idea that no women “have it all.” Thus, society needed to dish out advice to women on how they too can “have it all.”But first, society needs to define what they believe all women in 2016 must have in order to truly “have it all” and have succeeded in life:

• College Degree
• Career
• Marriage
• Kids

Are there women who do in fact want everything on this list? Of course.But does every single woman on the face of the planet want all of these things?The problem with the phrase “having it all” assumes that all women, all over the planet, have the exact same list of dreams they hope to accomplish in life in order to feel like they’ve “made it.” This isn’t the case. We are human beings. We are not one size fits all. We aren’t robots.

I believe that just like men, women should feel free to live their lives as they please (as long as they’re not hurting anyone or committing crimes, of course). We don’t see articles about men struggling to “have it all,” yet throughout the years, there have been many magazine covers like this:

All magazine covers are debating about what’s “right” to women’s lives. These in-depth articles these days explore “non-traditional” decisions some women make. These articles dissect the statistics of how many women aren’t having kids, what happens when women have a career and kids and explore the reasons for women parenting the way that they do.

Do magazines study and write extensive articles like this about men? No. Men have never been involved in these repetitive discussions that seem to be never-ending.
My question about these debates on women’s lives?
Honestly, why does any of this matter? Should it?

My theory is that the media and society make it appear like it matters because women are still consistently judged by absolutely everyone. It’s a fact of being a woman in the world.Our appearances, life choices, goals, dreams, and opinions are all dissected, picked apart, debated, questioned, and judged. We are judged by the media, society, our teachers, our families,doctors, and strangers. We cannot escape judgment.

The problem with this is that society has made it impossible for women to “have it all” because society has a specific opinion on what “it all” is. If you haven’t checked every box on their list, then you don’t have it all according to society.
When there is a trend of women making decisions different from society’s expectations of them, like opting out of parenthood, for example, the media and society freak out like the world is coming to an end.
“Oh my gosh, why are fewer women having kids?!?’
“What’s wrong with these women?”
“How can we change their minds?”
“Are women who don’t have kids selfish?”

Women still have narrow expectations in society today, even in the most developed countries. When we travel our own paths and make our own choices, there is an absolute frenzy from, well, everyone. Women are still expected to check every item off the list of the “To Do List of Every Woman on the Planet,” and when women don’t, there are debates about why not.

Newsflash: It doesn’t matter.
If women aren’t hurting anyone, who cares if some women don’t have kids?
Or don’t get married?
Or don’t go to college?
Or don’t have a perfect career?

Women are human beings, too, and not all women have the same brain, the same values, or even the same interests. Shocking, I know. Women are (GASP!) free to make choices. Just like not all men have the same ambitions in life, neither do women.

This idea of women “having it all” seems to give women the message that they can never have “it all” because it’s impossible. Evidently, they are saying, “It’s possible for men to have a college degree, get married, have kids, and have a career, but women, you just can’t do that. Sorry!” It’s the assumption that all women everywhere want all of these things, and that it’s automatically an impossibility.

My version of “having it all” may differ from another woman’s version of it. Also, I don’t even believe in the phrase “having it all” because I believe that the phrase is just agenda pushing. It’s pushing the message that women are set up to fail and that they should be fighting their entire lives to achieve “it all.” It’s just forcing women to continue being “good girls” and following what society expects from them. Men are judged slightly for not achieving these things as well, but not even close to the degree women are judged. Women are judged so harshly it’s filled worldwide debates.

As everyone continues to debate if women can “have it all” (or if “having it all” should even be discussed anymore), I hope that more people start coming around to the idea that women can make individual choices and that the only thing that should matter is that women are happy and fulfilling their own personal dreams.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Living well is the best revenge

You thought of her/him as a friend and ally, but by resorting to underhanded tactics that made you look bad, backstabbing became the only word to define her actions. Backstabbing friends or colleagues are a part of life, and the act itself happens to nearly everyone at some point in life. The betrayal of a trusted friend or colleague inflicts pain and hurt. Why People Backstab Reasons why people backstab others range from cowardice to a need for power. The sole purpose of backstabbing is gaining the upper hand and garnering power. Backstabbing is not limited to one individual or another.

Backstabbing at Work: It is far easier to understand why co-workers or colleagues revert to backstabbing antics rather than a friend. Colleagues wish to gain notice from superiors and put themselves in position for advancement. Backstabbing in the office is a scheme to make you look bad and the backstabber appears better. Lies and deception are the tools of a backstabbing co-worker on a mission to prove how inept you are at your job. There are many ways people backstab others at work. After completing a group project, one person may complain to a superior about how difficult it was to work with the group and that so-and-so lacked focus. By criticizing other people, the backstabber feels better about herself. Backstabbing may be nothing more than idle gossip about you to other co-workers. Using every occasion to bring attention to your faults or weaknesses is a mean-spirited tactic. Offering to complete a project or task assigned to another co-worker is one such tactic. Although it makes the backstabber look good temporarily, in the long run, the backstabber will lose the confidence of her peers.

Backstabbing Friends: Backstabbing friends represent a different breed of underhanded schemes. It is hard to imagine what a friend can gain by backstabbing. Like a colleague, she/he believes she/he can gain an advantage in life. It might be by usurping a mutual friend closer to you. A friend that tells lies to take the upper hand wants to destroy your reputation. Even worse is the friend who reveals a confidence to others opening you up to all manner of finger pointing and gossip. When a friend backstabs the pain may be overwhelming. This is someone you trusted and believed had your best interests at heart just as you did hers. Discovering a dark side of a friend requires a new look at the friendship. Is a friend who backstabs worth keeping as a friend?

Learning how to deal with backstabbing is important to move on. Dealing with a backstabber at work requires a different strategy than dealing with manipulative friends. A backstabbing friend requires handling with kid gloves. If the friendship is over, then worrying about hurt feelings is moot. Meet the backstabber head on, but not until you can face her without anger spilling over. Be cool, calm and collected when you confront them. Expect everything and anything to be laid out on the table. Backstabbers often exhibit passive-aggressive behavior and tend to dislike confrontations. No one wants to feel the betrayal of backstabbing best friends or colleagues. It does happen and when it does make certain that you are prepared to deal with the backstabber in an appropriate manner. For friends, it may come down to cutting them out of your life. You will not have that option in the workplace. Finding ways to live with the backstabber or remove yourself from the situation. A good quote to live by “Living well is the best revenge.”

Rab Rakha!!!!!