It’s Not The People Who Change, It’s The Mask That Falls Off

Sometimes, it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off.

As we go through life, we have the opportunity to meet a multiplicity of dissimilar people. Some become untailored connections who we just smirk and brandish at when we see them and others don’t good point a second thought after they walk out the door, but a select few will make it into the inner circle. 

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Shades of our life....

Black and white are truly vital colors that can be attention-grabbing at times, and even at other times indispensable.  But there is nothing that truly brings out the beauty and legitimacy in life than the many shades of grey.  There are things that are categorically black or white, but if you were to paint everything over with just black or white, you would lose so many beautiful and astounding details that you could otherwise discern and that might help you to have a better perspective should you add a bit of grey!

Too many of us tend to make that very mistake when judging a situation, or when arriving to a pronouncement.  We apply the black or white rule and leave out the a range of shades of grey.  If you go into any situation with a bucket of just black or white you risk missing out on a lot of beautiful niceties that could make the overall picture be so much more clear and relatable.

Take politics for example.  There are too many people who are stuck on either red or blue when making a choice or decision.  The white in the States often gets elapsed or disregarded and therefore those who are so busy throwing their buckets of either blue or red on everything can thoroughly miss the whole point of what building a true egalitarianism is really like, they are too busy trying to tear down or paint over the other color.

Life, love, relationships, politics, business, religion, and in fact everything has many different shades of grey.  If you want to make it in any one thing, take your nose out of your paint bucket, and then take a few steps back and the look at the canvas.  As you focus on things with your new perception, you might find that adding those shades of grey will complete your magnum opus, better your life and help you grow close the world around you!

Rab Rakha!!!!!

When life doesn't go as per your plan...

Life is amazing, but sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge because of all the sticky situations and straight-up terrible nonsense that happens in our lives.

Let me guess: Right when you Finally think something is going great, something bad happens again. When does it end, right? Why you? Why can’t you just be normal like “everybody else”? How come it seems like some people have no problems at all, and you’re stuck under a constant avalanche?

The truth? I am not going to tell you things will get better over night. I am not going to tell you that terrible circumstances you obviously don’t deserve are not going to come your way. Bad things will happen; I can practically guarantee it. Trust me, I know firsthand.

What I will tell you, however, is that there are ways to live above these unforeseen circumstances. You can make it through the unexpected situations; you can come out stronger than ever and better equipped for the storms that will inevitably come your way in the future

Here are  ways to live above the most unfortunate circumstances:

1. Trust

Trust things are going to work out. Have you ever looked at a tree that is absolutely beautiful in the spring, but looks pretty ugly during the winter? That’s because the tree is not in season.

You have to remember that, just because you’re not seeing fruit during the winter of your life, spring will come eventually. Trust that it will all come together in the end, even if you can’t see it now. Your life isn’t dead; it just might be dormant for the time being.

2. Change your plans

If you have been trying to make the same thing work out, and time and time and time again, it fails, perhaps you need to try something new. I’m not saying give up on your long-term dreams; however, sometimes things don’t work out because they’re not supposed to.

Quit trying to fix the air conditioner with some bubble gum and sticky tack. Change your strategy. Stop trying to force the situation with the wrong tactics. There is a reason it isn’t working out.

3. Meditate

I know seems hyper-spiritual, but no matter what you believe, you can still take time mold your habit of personal reflection. Maybe to you this means meditating, or even praying. Perhaps it’s simply taking time to relax with your thoughts.

Get in touch with your spiritual self. Talk to someone who makes you feel good.   An inner peace tends to come with spirituality and meditation.

4. Be patient

What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting because sometimes who we become and what we learn in the process of waiting is what truly shows us the way.

Think about it: We are all waiting for something — a new job, a significant other, a phone call, another chance. Perhaps, if you’re still waiting on whatever it is, maybe you’re just not ready yet.

Waiting is not punishment; it’s preparation.

5. Be positive, even when you’re not positive

What you proclaim, you are. Whether you succeed or fail is determined in your mind way before a situation even plays out in real time — consider that for a moment. Change your thoughts, and your life will follow.

6. Stop focusing on your stressors instead of your blessings

Many times during your day, things go exactly the way you want them to. Yet, when something doesn’t go according to plan, you get upset.

It’s so easy to get preoccupied with the problems in our lives. In reality, however, the things that go right significantly outnumber the things that go wrong. It’s so hard to see it that way sometimes because our problems become this unbearable weight that we feel like we aren’t equipped to carry.

I get it: It’s easier said than done to look at the positives over the negatives. It truly does take time. However, you are already equipped. You might just need some strength training!

Practice makes perfect. Your circumstances cannot control you as long as you choose constant inner happiness, regardless of what’s happening on the outside.

7. Live in the now

No matter how much you think about it, dream about it, or sweat over it, the past is over, honey. When you face the facts, it can no longer hurt you.

Think of the events that happened in your life as if they happened FOR you, not TO you. You have outgrown your past. You are so much bigger and stronger now. It’s time to let it go.

8. Just go with it

Maybe the reason the situation you had perfectly planned out went left instead of right is that the universe had other plans.

Maybe it rains on that day you were planning on having a sunny picnic in the park. So what? Have the picnic anyway, and dance in the rain. Maybe it’s not how you planned it out, but that’s the best part about it.

Just go with the flow and your memories will truly be unforgettable. Consider the rain a blessing. Some problems are just out of our control, and there’s not much else we can do except adapt and figure out how to move on!

Obviously, I realize that your problems are on a much larger scale than a picnic. However, if you start to see the small circumstances this way, you can most certainly begin to see the larger issues this way. Perhaps once you do change your mindset, you will realize that, in reality, you don’t actually have many stressors.

9. Have faith

There will definitely be moments when you won’t know what’s coming next, like those terrifying blind spots , or rainy nights when you can’t see the road.

However, if you keep moving ahead , things will begin to clear up. Keep the faith, and know you will reach where you want to be. The destination remains, and a little rain or crummy vision cannot change that!

10. Turn your mess into your message

I know it’s hard to see it this way right now, but the pain you are going through is temporary. When you get out of this tunnel (or even while you are in it), your story will inspire other people who are going through hard times themselves.

Let your life be your anecdote. If you need solid proof of that, well, you’re reading it. This article is my testimony.

Maybe I don’t understand why you have to go through the things you do. Perhaps I have not walked in your shoes. But what I do know is that it will pass.

You can’t just hope it blows over, however. You have to put in the conscious effort and strength to press on and fight for what you deserve. Will it be hard at times? Yes. Will you get frustrated? Absolutely.

Every little part of the journey is beautiful, no matter how precious or even how unfortunate. You can live above and beyond any circumstance because you are strong; you have willpower, and you are dang well worth it!

Get out there and show your life who is really in charge.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Art of Indifference

I think it is a curse to feel things strongly. To not be able to do something without investing your entire being in it. I know the process of building walls but once I allow someone through those doors, I don’t know how not to let myself be affected by them. How not to give everything I have, every thought, every moment and want a few in return.

 

I candidly wish that I knew how to merely float through life, without being affected by it. To love without wanting to be loved as ardently in return. To give attention without seeking it. I wish I were unmoved. Not so completely involved. I wish things or people did not affect me like they do. Or if that is asking the impossible, I wish I were smart enough to make-believe so without the truth reflecting on my face and in my words. 

 

Rab Rakha!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Approaching Confines....

Let’s just ignore the fact that I haven’t blogged in ages. Deal?

Deal.

Moving on…

I've been trying to push the boundaries of my placate zones in different aspects of my life. With any task, I can usually go only so far and pinball around in my own small space of acquaintance. I glance off off the same ideas over and over. But, how long before I hit TILT?

I've always fancied myself a bit of a chameleon. I take bits of what I see and know to help myself evolve. The problem is, I’m not finding my own way. When I recently started a project journal, I decided to stop allowing the lined pages confine me. I’m varying the size of my print, the margins and using words to carve pictures. For every little step across a line, I feel a little more liberated. And also a bit more inspired.

Creativity is something I always envy in others. Whether it’s writing, art, cooking, fashion, anything really. I’m always thinking, I wish I had that cleverness. Now, I do think that this is not always a learned thing. Some people are just born with that door open. However, I don’t like limits and I do believe that you can be taught, accustomed, to a certain degree.

So this is my current self-improvement project. Pushing my boundaries. Letting my brain forget about common practices and finding what works for me. I’m hoping to pick up some forgotten art projects to give me a push in the right direction.

Even if your goal is to write, exercising your mind in other areas helps you branch out. If I can pick up a project, I can look at it and see how to make it better. I can dig in and clip here, add there. The same goes for my writing. Editing is like pruning the rose bush. Or adding a red stripe to that abstract painting. And the more I push my creativity, the better that final product is going to be. 

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Creating ties...

Most of us need and want more connection and closeness with those in our lives. However, we have many things that keep us separate and distant from them.

What creates closeness and loving connections with those we love?

There are many theories and methods people have touted as keys to creating loving and close relationships.

It is being validated and being heard.

Sounds simple and easy doesn’t it.  Just listen to your loved ones.

However, it is not so easy to really listen, given our life that we create around us.

In order to create closeness and truly listen, I must stop what I’m doing and tune in to the other person.

This requires 100% presence and not holding my cell phone, checking emails, cooking dinner, working, doing laundry, thinking about what I have to do after this conversation or listening to music.

Tuning in to the moment and being fully here now is the one way  you can create.

It also requires that you don’t interrupt and try to fix the problem yourself or fix the person in that moment.  It means listening and hearing the person.

How often do people you love actually sit with you and truly give you their undivided attention and hear what you are saying?

This is a gift that brings the closeness you are seeking.

Remember a time when you felt heard and understood?  Remember the positive sensations that ran through you and how you felt about that person following that experience?

Being heard and validated for our own experience is the most powerful gift of love there is.  For actions always speak louder than words.

So next time don’t just say I love you.  Show them you love them by tuning in, really listening and give the present of your presence.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Find magic in life

I have been dreaming again. You know the outlawed kind. We are quick to blameworthiness the world. Someone - something must have done something that this dreadful tragedy happened. Someone must have illicit it on me to not dream. Something must have happened. I wondered about that for so long. 

But really, it was me. I don't remember exactly when, but at some point, I forbade myself to dream. I don't know how. I took off my rose colored glasses and saw the world as it was and decided that dreaming wasn't worth it anymore. Things weren't going to get any better than they were and living in realism means accepting it. Eyes on the road, feet on the ground. Let's follow the path. Let's not make it. Let's not pretend like someday we'll be flown off our feet. Let's not give love too much thought. It is, but a dream. Let's hope that someone will take pity on us and walk with us for a while, and that would be enough. 

The magic in life - the magic that makes you breathe and bleed, it is but a chimera. A child's play. A party trick. But God, almighty God, isn't that the most beautiful thing you have ever seen - ever felt? Dreaming about magic, dreaming about the possibility that you could be better than who you are right now, dreaming about a whiff of happiness. Dreaming that your life could matter.  

Rab Rakha!!!!!