My Advice for Newlyweds

Here are some tips to help you thrive in your first year of marriage everyone wants a happy family whether it is joint or nuclear. But yes harmony is the most important thing.If it’s become really problematic to deal with your in-laws then you left with no other option.

Husband and wives tuning plays a very imperative role. But in arranged marriages, it takes time for a couple to understand each other. There are always two sides of a coin. I have seen many mothers who genuinely take advantage of their son's love for them. It’s expected that a mother wants her son to be like the way he used to be before marriage. They become diffident and then start doing things that really creates a problem for a newlywed gal. On the other hand, the girl who left everyone for her husband wants to be his first priority for an obvious reason.

Here the role of husband/son is very crucial. He should not be partial towards anyone and takes the right side.

To avoid this few things are very important:-

• Boy’s parents should not interfere in the couples matters. They should not forget that the married couple is adult enough to take care of their things.

• Time is changing so as the thoughts but there are people who still want to follow the same rule which is next to impossible now. E.g. a guy is not required to adjust to the girl’s family as he is not going there but the girl has to do because she used to come and stay here. Kindly remember one thing that all the relationship is based on give and take concept. You stand for her family and she will stand for yours.

• Starting years of marriage is very crucial specifically in arranged marriages. It can either make it or break it. You need to give time and should be together to understand each other well. And probably this becomes difficult in a joint family. (And let me tell you one thing that’s the reason why guy’s mom don’t want him to do a love marriage because couples already share a connection with each other)

• The couple needs to sit together and share the problem. But one thing is also important here, most guys just can’t take this that their wife is complaining about her, obviously, she is his mother, but you can’t be partial after marriage. If your wife can’t take place of your mom then also your mom can’t take place of your wife.

• Remember, that people marry because parents can’t be there for you always (both girls and boys parents) and that’s why we need a companion with whom we can grow old.

• The only girl can do such sacrifices for a single person (husband) that she moves out of her family, loved ones to make a house with her husband so I think they deserve to be your priority.

Never leave your parents (emotionally). And this is for both guy and girl. But yes if things are getting bitter than it is better to maintain a healthy distance and secure both the relationships rather complicating it more.

Last but not the least: Why we always raise this question that whether the girl is keeping her in-laws happy or not, Why we don’t think if she is happy in that house or not?She came from a different family leaving everyone behind all her loved ones her comfort zone. It’s everyone's responsibility to make her feel like home and be comfortable so that this question will never rise again.

Rab Rakha!!!!!