Siblings know how to push each other's buttons, but they also know how to mend things faster than anyone.

Brother and sister, together as friends, ready to face whatever life sends! Joy and laughter or tears and strife, holding hands tightly as we dance through life! – Suzie Huitt

It may just be the longest relationship of your life, and the one that gives you as much grief as pleasure. The sibling bond is now thought to be one of the most important in our lives. No other peer relationship involves a shared upbringing, shared genes, and shared secrets. Studies show the importance as you get older of having friendly siblings for companionship, reminiscences (stories of family holidays are boring for anyone else) and practical support. Yet there are times when children wish their sister or brother would just disappear. Forever. And in the seesaw of sibling relationships, it is that between sisters that is both the closest and most competitive.

There is no stronger bond than the bond between siblings. Siblings are our first best friends. They are the ones we grow up with and have spent the most time with over our lives. They probably know the most about you and know your true personality. At least that is how it is with my sister, brother and me. I have been blessed with a great sibling relationship. We have such a strong bond that I find it hard to imagine living a life without it.

Those of us with siblings have gone on numerous vacations with them and have endured even more family events with them. They share many of the same life experiences as we have and have felt many of the same impacts of those experiences.

Siblings are also usually the first people we go to when there is a problem. Sure, many times I go to my best friend with problems, but sometimes it is just necessary to discuss things with my siblings because I know that they truly understand. The relationship between siblings and the relationship between best friends are on different levels.

Siblings are the ones that you can be yourself around and not care about them judging you because in the end they are still related to you and cannot do anything about how crazy you really are. They simply have to live with it.

Having a brother and sister, I know that they have always had my back and are there to protect me when needed. I can ask them for anything and they would probably do it for me, and I for them. It is a great feeling of security knowing that I can consult them.

I know that there are people out there without siblings and there are also those who have siblings but lack a bond with them. I feel for these people because I could not fathom growing up without my brother & sister by my side. I cannot imagine living in a house where I do not get along with my siblings. Many of the things that I have experienced with my siblings have shaped who I am today and this is true for many others.

I strongly believe that it is important to maintain a relationship with siblings. It is inevitable that you will grow apart, as you start your life and own family but it is vital that people remain in contact. Siblings provide so much to our lives and to lose that relationship can be devastating to a family. I have a large extended family and I have learned that when siblings get along, the entire family as a whole benefit. Likewise, when one relationship is severed, the entire family suffers. I have been blessed with a family that even through tough times and bumpy roads is able to recover and love each other.

 As we move on in life, we can tend to lose contact with some family and siblings because we are not at home. But we should take the time to call up our family and talk to them. It is important to not forget that they are there supporting us even though we do not see them frequently. Hopefully, after reading this, you are inclined to call up the sibling or other relatives you have been ignoring the past months.

I think siblings are the core to a family and those who are lucky enough to have siblings should cherish them. After all, they probably know the most embarrassing facts about your life and would not be afraid to share them with all your friends.

Rab Rakha!!!!!   

People don’t leave jobs, people leave bad bosses!

Many organizations underestimate the power of great leadership in increasing employee motivation, engagement, and retention. Over the course of my career, I have only had three good bosses. As I think back, this was the single biggest determinant of whether I stayed or left a company. It does not always have to do with the size of your paycheck, the length of your commute or the everyday tasks you do – what matters most to workplace happiness are the qualities your manager brings to their job. A boss sets the tone of the organization. Please don't get me wrong. Yes, motivation is intrinsic but dealing with a bad boss for 8-10 hours a day, 5-6 days a week, can even wear out the most loyal employees.

There is mounting evidence that happy workers are more productive workers which translates into higher returns. Maybe it's time companies invest more effort and resources into management selection and ongoing training. A manager's job is to facilitate a good working environment for his/her employees. Few things are as costly and disruptive as managers who kill morale. Many bosses can manage processes but they are not apt in leading people who call for inspiration, vision and soft skills.

Traits of a Boss who is a Strong Leader:

• They genuinely care and put the interests of their team first.
• They are not afraid to hire people smarter than they are. They aren't threatened or intimidated by the success of employees.
• They are quick to share and give credit.
• They empower employees. They set employees up to succeed.
• They take responsibility. They don't shift the blame.
• They are humble and welcome feedback even if it’s not positive.
• They are fair and transparent. Their words and actions match. They walk the talk.
• They have high emotional intelligence. They show empathy. They don’t take things personally, harbor grudges or easily get angry.
• They are good at solving problems. They are competent at what they do.
• They push employees to grow and develop. They coach and mentor employees.

A bad manager can take good staff and destroy it, causing the best employees to flee and the remainder to lose all motivation.

A bad boss will intimidate, compete with and micromanage employees. The damage that can happen to work for a bad boss is much more than just what happens by being mismanaged. Working for a bad boss can erode your self-confidence and increase anxiety and stress. They can even make work drudgery. A good boss, on the other hand, can make the worst of jobs tolerable and interesting. Life is too short to spend so much time under someone who frustrates and ill-treats you. Employees are not asking for much. They spend over half of their lives at work. They just want to be in a healthy environment that supports and helps them to grow and develop. Build up employees and you build up the company.

When it comes to keeping employees motivated, there are a number of factors to keep in mind—from communicating goals and expectations to showing interest in your employees’ professional aspirations. You can have all the team building exercises, engagement programmes, and perks, but the number one incentive for keeping employees engaged and productive is having a good boss. That is the best incentive of all.

Employees want managers who are leaders. Managers who will inspire them, who are fair and honest and will stand up for their team. Loyalty cannot be bought, it must be earned. Sometimes it's the little things that you do, that counts the most.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Why employees switch jobs so often?

Changing jobs regularly is a good thing, right? It’s a sign of ambition and drive, an indication that you want to improve your skills and experience. Or is it a sign of an inability to commit to a role, of someone who struggles to settle? If you are thinking about making a career move, you might want to consider what a frequent variation in direction might say about you.

Many things prompt us to want to change employers – some are out of our power, so in an effort to retake control of our lives, we place ourselves on the job market and some of us do it more often than others!

So, how often is too often? With social media seeming to constantly announce new roles for our friends and acquaintances, it might appear that nowadays, people job hop more often now than ever before.

I feel when the employee is not happy he or she looks for a change as per me these things can be done to retain their employees;

1.  Give your employees development and advancement opportunities: When you help people to grow and develop, the outcome is excellent. Good leaders ensure that the workplace keeps people advancing people into new career paths and those they're experiencing new roles and responsibilities. When employees grow, their productive capacity increases. When their productive capacity increases, the capacity of the organization increases. It's a thing of beauty which very few employers understand.

2.  Give your employees self-sufficiency: "Leadership is the art of giving people a platform for spreading ideas that work." What that means is people in charge of people must empower them to think on their own. After hiring the right people with the right skills for the job, and setting clear goals and expectations with deadlines and benchmarks, the next and highest priority is to give your people entrepreneurial rights; let them make decisions and own their work, and let them determine how to move forward. In other words, let them use their God-given brains! As you provide your clan with more independence, you'll notice an increase in inherent motivation, trust, and loyalty to the company. Another thing of beauty.

3.  Create a feedback culture: Let’s face it most managers don't like giving or accepting feedback. It's painful because you have to speak the truth, and plenty of people aren't ready to accept it. The culture of feedback in any organization helps everyone get and perform better and know there drawbacks which can be worked upon and things are constantly improving.

In simple words I would put it this way when you help others to do their jobs and set them up for success by implementing all of the above, you the leader will set yourself up for success. That's the ultimate thing of beauty.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

How to respond to falsifiers

The social world that we all follow includes the normalization of lying. White lies are expected, viewed to be a part of polite conversation and valuing the feelings of others over truth.

And if you don’t adhere to that world, others will hem and haw over the breach of social etiquette. They ask, “What’s wrong with you? Why couldn’t you be more polite? “That creates social pressure to get back into line and stick to the terms.

And we wonder why we have such a hard time forging trusting relationships with a relative, friend, or anyone. There is no getting around it. Lying is part of our culture and social world. You would think it would come as no great surprise when it happens, but it’s still easy to be blindsided and shocked when someone you thought you could trust lies to you.

But how should you respond when you find out someone has lied to you?

White lies are unfortunate, but they are a general part of social interaction and getting to know a person. However, it is not stroppy to expect a large amount of tactful truth from the people you are close to.

The weight of a lie should be assessed in the context of the situation as well as your relationship with the person. It is more forgivable to overlook a small lie told by a co-worker or acquaintance so as to avoid creating unnecessary drama in your life. Sometimes, people lie out of insecurity, fear, or nervousness without even realizing that they’re doing it. It’s a survival mechanism of sorts.

On the other hand, you should be able to expect the truth from family, good friends, or a significant other. Lies told in close relationships undercut confidence and connectivity with the people around you. And plenty of people out there do not have healthy relationships or families where people actually love and care about one another.

So ask: what are the situation and the milieu? What is the lie? And, most importantly, what is their reason for telling it?

One you thing you can do is Say nothing at all – do not respond

Not all battles are worth fighting. There are so many voices out there that preach that you must stand up for yourself! That people treat you the way you allow them to treat you! And that’s absolutely true. People, by and large, will treat you in the way that you allow them. But standing up for you does not have to mean yelling and arguing with anyone. It can also mean simply walking away from the people that disregard you.

The fact of the matter is, if you are in a position where you feel you need to “train” the people around you on how to treat you, it would be a much better idea for you to find a new group of people instead. Most people could change if they wanted to – but most don’t want to. Most don’t care either way. They are just trying to get through their day intact so they can get on with whatever it is they want to do.

Why waste months or years of your life trying to instil a basic level of respect in someone that couldn’t see enough value in you to do that initially? Doesn’t make much sense, really.

Oftentimes, the best response to a person lying to you is no response at all. Just file it away in your mind and keep moving forward. There is no reason to divulge everything you know. All confrontation usually gets you is more lies and manipulations. It happens. Not everything in life can be clear-cut and simple.

Other thing you can do is confront

The best way to confront a person is in a position of neutrality. You don’t want to be angry. If you are angry, it gives them ammunition to fire back at you, which will make you angrier, which will give them more ammunition, and on and on it goes. A calm approach gives you leverage to help determine the total truth.

Ask pointed, direct questions, and pay close attention to how the person responds. It’s common for a manipulator to throw out anger and try to instigate a fight, because it shifts a conversation to their terms. They may trot out phrases like, “I can’t believe you don’t trust me!?” and “Why would you accuse me of that?” as they try and shift the blame back to you.

Again, pick your battles. Not every battle is worth fighting. And if the person is habitually dishonest, then you’re not going to make any real progress. What often happens is the liar will simply apologize to you (even if they aren’t sorry), assure you that it will never happen again (which it probably will), and then you repeat the cycle over and over for years until you realize that they’re not going to change.

The way of the world…

We must all make choices about how we navigate life and who we let into our personal space. The most important thing to remember is that you cannot control the decisions of others. There is little reason to allow a manipulator or falsifier to negatively impact your life. The more time you give to them, the less time you have for yourself or for kind people. Don’t waste your time and life on people you need to force honesty from. And if you do, don’t be surprised if they betray you again further down the road. People can change if they want to, but most don’t because change is hard or they just don’t see an issue with their behaviour. That’s on them.

All you can really do is decide what you are willing to tolerate and what you should walk away from :)

Rab Rakha!!!!!

My Advice for Newlyweds

Here are some tips to help you thrive in your first year of marriage everyone wants a happy family whether it is joint or nuclear. But yes harmony is the most important thing.If it’s become really problematic to deal with your in-laws then you left with no other option.

Husband and wives tuning plays a very imperative role. But in arranged marriages, it takes time for a couple to understand each other. There are always two sides of a coin. I have seen many mothers who genuinely take advantage of their son's love for them. It’s expected that a mother wants her son to be like the way he used to be before marriage. They become diffident and then start doing things that really creates a problem for a newlywed gal. On the other hand, the girl who left everyone for her husband wants to be his first priority for an obvious reason.

Here the role of husband/son is very crucial. He should not be partial towards anyone and takes the right side.

To avoid this few things are very important:-

• Boy’s parents should not interfere in the couples matters. They should not forget that the married couple is adult enough to take care of their things.

• Time is changing so as the thoughts but there are people who still want to follow the same rule which is next to impossible now. E.g. a guy is not required to adjust to the girl’s family as he is not going there but the girl has to do because she used to come and stay here. Kindly remember one thing that all the relationship is based on give and take concept. You stand for her family and she will stand for yours.

• Starting years of marriage is very crucial specifically in arranged marriages. It can either make it or break it. You need to give time and should be together to understand each other well. And probably this becomes difficult in a joint family. (And let me tell you one thing that’s the reason why guy’s mom don’t want him to do a love marriage because couples already share a connection with each other)

• The couple needs to sit together and share the problem. But one thing is also important here, most guys just can’t take this that their wife is complaining about her, obviously, she is his mother, but you can’t be partial after marriage. If your wife can’t take place of your mom then also your mom can’t take place of your wife.

• Remember, that people marry because parents can’t be there for you always (both girls and boys parents) and that’s why we need a companion with whom we can grow old.

• The only girl can do such sacrifices for a single person (husband) that she moves out of her family, loved ones to make a house with her husband so I think they deserve to be your priority.

Never leave your parents (emotionally). And this is for both guy and girl. But yes if things are getting bitter than it is better to maintain a healthy distance and secure both the relationships rather complicating it more.

Last but not the least: Why we always raise this question that whether the girl is keeping her in-laws happy or not, Why we don’t think if she is happy in that house or not?She came from a different family leaving everyone behind all her loved ones her comfort zone. It’s everyone's responsibility to make her feel like home and be comfortable so that this question will never rise again.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Stuff women are tired of hearing!

Though we live in a world which is slowly and hopefully moving towards women's liberation, there are certain things that women have been hearing for years now. And, honestly, nobody should be allowed to make these avowals to any woman. They leave us feeling self-conscious, uncomfortable, misjudged, demeaned and typecast. We’re sure you’ve heard a few of these:

• You seem moody, is it that time of the month?
• Don't be so sensitive.
• But, you should be flattered you receive that kind of attention.
• Why are you eating a salad? Why are you eating a burger? Are you on a diet?
• You don't have much time left to have children." “Isn’t your biological clock ticking?
• Do you need help with that?
• You curse/eat/drink a lot for a girl.
• Relax, it was just a joke.
• That wasn't sexism that was just [explanation].
• Are you sure you should do that alone?
• You're being too picky.
• Calm down!
• Don’t cut your hair so short, you look like a boy.

Rab Rakha!!!!!