Monday, July 22, 2024

The Great Authenticity Escape: Ditching the Fake and Finding Your Tribe (Without Needing a Reality Show Contract)



Let's face it, folks. Sometimes, interacting with people feels like watching an awful reality show where everyone forgets they're being filmed. We've all been there: the coworker who throws shade like a weeping willow on a windy day, or the "friend" whose social media presence makes "Let them eat cake" sound like the height of humility. But before you unplug from the human race entirely, let's delve into the hilarious hypocrisy that makes us want to scream " FAKE NEWS" at the world.

Why We Feel Like Extras in Someone Else's Highlight Reel:

Social media, my friends, is the carefully curated land of "perfection." People share their #blessed vacations, #couplegoals adventures, and #winning work wins. Meanwhile, you're here with your burnt toast breakfast, questionable fashion choices, and the never-ending battle against that rogue chin hair. It's enough to make you feel like you showed up to the Oscars in your pyjamas (although, come to think of it, that might be an improvement on some red-carpet looks).

The Double Standard Shuffle:

Double standards? Buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to take a wild ride. It's that glorious phenomenon where the rules seem to mysteriously morph depending on who's playing the game. Remember that time you got detention for doodling on your desk, while your bestie got away with, well, let's just say their artistic talents leaned more towards Jackson Pollock than the Mona Lisa? Yeah, us too.

Finding the Diamonds in the Rough (or Maybe Just Cubic Zirconia):

Okay, so not everyone is a walking contradiction. There are some fantastically genuine folks out there who value real connections and wouldn't dream of throwing someone under the bus (unless it was actually a comfy tour bus with complimentary snacks, because let's be honest, that sounds amazing). Here's the good news:

  • Be the you-ness you were always meant to be! Embrace your weirdness, your quirks, and that questionable sense of humour. The right people will appreciate the authentic you, even if it comes with a side of occasional social awkwardness.
  • Focus on your own story. Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes bloopers to everyone else's highlight reel. Instead, celebrate your own journey, your wins (both big and small), and the people who make you laugh until your sides hurt (even if it's at yourself).

The Punchline:

The world might be full of contradictions, but that doesn't mean we have to be. Let's find the humour in the hypocrisy, strive for authenticity, and maybe, just maybe, create our own reality show that's actually worth watching. Because hey, if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can? (Except maybe that coworker with the shade-throwing skills, but that's a story for another day).

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Monday, July 01, 2024

Smiling Sharks and Backstabbing Buddies: Navigating Workplace Dynamics!



 Welcome to the corporate jungle, where the coffee is bitter and the politics are even more so. You thought you signed up for a job, but surprise! You've actually entered a complex ecosystem where survival often depends more on your ability to play the game than your actual skills. Let's dive into the fascinating (and slightly disturbing) world of corporate politics.

The Unwritten Rulebook

First things first: forget everything you learned about meritocracy. In the realm of corporate politics, your performance is just one small piece of the puzzle. The real currency? Relationships, perception, and the ability to take credit for success while dodging blame for failures. It's like high school, but with better clothes and more expensive coffee.

The Players

Every office has its cast of characters. There's the Credit Thief, always lurking nearby when praise is being handed out. The Brown-Noser, who's perfected the art of agreeing with the boss while somehow making it sound profound. And let's not forget the Office Politician, who's built a network so intricate it would make Machiavelli weep with pride.

The Art of Selective Hearing

In corporate politics, what's not said is often more important than what is. Learn to read between the lines, decipher passive-aggressive emails, and understand that "Let's circle back on this" usually means "Not a chance in hell."

Alliances and Betrayals

Today's ally could be tomorrow's rival. Build your network carefully, but always keep one eye open. That friendly chat by the water cooler? It's reconnaissance. The invitation to happy hour? A fact-finding mission. Trust no one, suspect everyone, and for heaven's sake, never say anything remotely controversial within 100 feet of HR.

The Climb to the Top

Ascending the corporate ladder isn't about speed; it's about strategy. Sometimes, the best move is a lateral one. Other times, it's staying put while your rivals self-destruct. Remember, in the game of corporate thrones, you either win or you update your LinkedIn profile.

Survival Tips

  • Develop a poker face that would make Vegas Pro Poker players jealous.
  • Master the art of taking credit without looking like you're taking credit.
  • Learn to say "That's an interesting idea" when you really mean "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
  • Always have a scapegoat ready. Interns are particularly useful for this.
  • Cultivate an air of mystery. Let people wonder if you're a genius or just really good at looking busy.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel?

Is there hope for those who despise playing politics? Sure, in the same way, there's hope for winning the lottery. You might get lucky and find a company that values transparency and genuine teamwork. But let's be real – you're more likely to spot a unicorn in the parking lot.

In conclusion, corporate politics is a game that never ends. You can play to win, or you can stand on the sidelines and watch your career stagnate faster than leftover tuna salad in the office fridge. The choice is yours. May the odds be ever in your favour, and may your coffee always be strong enough to fuel your political maneuvering.

Remember, in the corporate world, it's not personal. It's just business. (Except when it's totally personal, which is most of the time.)

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Monday, May 06, 2024

Mumbai's Mosaic to Punjab's Peace: How I Traded Skyscrapers for Sunsets in My Big Punjabi Move!



In my late thirties, I thought I had Mumbai figured out but god had other plans for me. The rhythmic chaos, the relentless energy, the late-night drives – all a symphony I conducted with practiced ease. But life, as it tends to do, threw me a curveball. Due to some personal reasons, I had to move to Punjab and got a good job opportunity, the land of my ancestors, beckoned. Trading the roar of Marine Drive for the rustling of wheat fields seemed like a drastic change, to say the least.

The initial days were a whirlwind of adjustments. Gone were the days of squeeezing three meetings into an hour-long lunch break. Here, time flowed like the creamy sweetness of a well-made lassi, allowing for languid afternoons spent with chatty family members and evenings gazing at a sky brimming with stars (a luxury Mumbai's light pollution rarely allows).

The biggest surprise, however, was the warmth of the Punjabi community. In Mumbai, anonymity was a shield, a comfort in the ever-moving crowd. Here, everyone seems to know everyone and a smile is an open invitation to conversation. It took some getting used to, this Punjabi pyaar, but I slowly began to appreciate the sense of belonging, the feeling of being a part of something bigger than myself.

Of course, there were challenges. The melodic lilt of Marathi and Hindi I was accustomed to was replaced by the robust Punjabi tongue, a language that initially sounded like a particularly enthusiastic squirrel. But with each passing day, Punjab unveiled its hidden treasures. The vibrant colours of local festivals, the rich cultural heritage evident in every monument, and the breathtaking beauty of the countryside – all these wove themselves into the fabric of my new life.

Life in Punjab has instilled in me a newfound appreciation for simplicity and a slower pace. I miss Mumbai's vibrancy at times, but the warmth of the people and the serenity of the countryside have carved a special place in my heart. This move wasn't just a change of location; it was a chance to rediscover myself, embrace new rhythms, and find a sense of belonging in the heart of Punjab.

So, if you're a fellow urban warrior contemplating a similar leap, here's my advice: pack your bags, embrace the change, and be prepared to be surprised. You might just discover your own zen (and some delicious lassi) along the way!

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Friday, May 03, 2024

Sending good vibes (and detaching from bad ones). ✌️


Every day, we face situations that rub us the wrong way – frustrating conversations, unexpected delays, or negativity from others. These encounters can leave us stressed, dissatisfied, and stewing in resentment. Sometimes, we dwell on these matters for far too long, wasting precious time and energy.

The answer? A little emotional detachment.

Now, this detachment isn't about becoming cold or indifferent. You can be a loving, compassionate person while still maintaining emotional distance when needed. It's an attitude of positivity and calmness that remains unshaken by negativity, stress, or a chaotic environment. With some practice, you can cultivate this attitude and unlock a more peaceful way of living.

Emotional detachment empowers you to:

  • Stay Calm Under Pressure: When faced with criticism, unexpected roadblocks, or difficult people, detachment allows you to stay centered and respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively.
  • Let Go of the Past: Negative memories and experiences can hold us back. Detachment allows you to release them and move forward with a lighter heart.
  • Stop Taking Things Personally: Detachment helps you separate someone's actions or words from your self-worth. You can address the situation without getting emotionally entangled.
  • Maintain Healthy Boundaries: Detaching from negativity protects you from being drained by stressful people or situations.
  • Boost Your Focus: When your mind isn't clouded by negativity, you can concentrate better on what truly matters.

This is just a glimpse into the power of emotional detachment. By developing this skill, you'll find yourself making better decisions, experiencing less stress, and cultivating a greater sense of inner peace.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Friday, April 19, 2024

Ninja Moves: How to Shut Someone Down Without Saying a Word!

We've all been there. You're chilling, minding your own business, when suddenly someone corners you with an opinion that makes about as much sense as a chocolate teapot. Your fight-or-flight kicks in, and the urge to launch into a debate worthy of a courtroom drama is intense. But hold your horses, champion! Sometimes, the most powerful move in your arsenal is no move at all. Enter the silent shutdown, a technique as elegant as a ninja and as effective as a well-timed dodge.

Think of it this way: why waste your precious breath on someone who's already proven themself a walking, talking contradiction? Instead, channel your inner chill master (think Keanu Reeves, but with less motorcycle) and unleash a look that says, "Hmm, interesting theory..." laced with a hint of playful amusement. Let them flail about in the ocean of their own nonsensical arguments, a spectacle far more entertaining than anything your words could create.

Now, the silent shutdown isn't about pouting or awkward pauses. It's about a knowing smile, a raised eyebrow that speaks volumes, and body language that screams, "You, my friend, are beneath my intellectual notice." Imagine the Mona Lisa's enigmatic grin cranked up to eleven, but way cooler.

This strategic silence offers a treasure trove of benefits. First, it completely disarms the antagonist. They thrive on a fight, so deny them the satisfaction of a reaction. Their carefully crafted barbs hang limp in the air, lacking the fuel of your outrage. Second, you maintain your composure like a boss. Getting sucked into a heated debate can lead to saying things you might later regret. Silence allows you to rise above the fray, the picture of someone who's way too cool to get ruffled.

But wait, there's more! Silence also holds the key to unexpected wisdom. By choosing not to engage, you open yourself up to truly listening, even if you disagree with what's being said. You might be surprised by what you learn, even from someone whose views seem a little out there.

So, the next time you find yourself in a verbal duel with a brick wall, remember the power of the silent shutdown. It's a witty retort delivered without a word, a masterclass in maintaining your cool, and an opportunity for hidden knowledge – all rolled into one.
Rab Rakha!!!!!

Friday, March 29, 2024

Trust Your Instincts: Recognizing When It's Time to Walk Away!



In the intricate web of human relationships, trust forms the very fabric that binds us together. It's the glue that holds friendships, partnerships, and connections of all kinds. But what happens when that trust is shattered? When the bonds we've carefully woven are frayed by betrayal or disregard? In those moments, we're faced with a pivotal decision: to confront and seek understanding or to cut ties and walk away.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-preservation, a declaration of our worth and value. It's a recognition that our emotional well-being is paramount and that we have the right to protect ourselves from harm. When someone breaks our trust, whether through deceit, betrayal, or repeated disregard for our feelings, it's natural to feel hurt, angry, and disillusioned.

But here's the thing – it's okay to walk away.

In a society that often glorifies forgiveness and second chances, we're taught to believe that cutting ties is a drastic measure, reserved only for the most egregious offenses. But the truth is, our boundaries are sacred, and they deserve to be respected. By cutting ties when trust is broken, we're affirming our self-worth and reclaiming our power.

That's not to say that communication and understanding aren't important – they absolutely are. But there are times when explanations fall short, when apologies ring hollow, and when the damage is simply too deep to repair. In those moments, walking away is an act of courage, a refusal to settle for less than we deserve.

Setting boundaries isn't about holding grudges or seeking revenge; it's about honouring ourselves and refusing to tolerate behaviour that undermines our well-being. It's about creating space for healing and growth, both for ourselves and for those we choose to surround ourselves with.

So, if someone breaks your trust, if they disregard your boundaries and undermine your worth, know that it's okay to cut ties. Trust yourself enough to know what's best for you, and have the courage to walk away from anything that no longer serves you.

Remember, you are worthy of love, respect, and trust. Don't settle for anything less.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Pause, Play, Slay: The Modern Woman's Guide to Maximizing Break Time!



As a working lady hustling through the daily grind, let me tell you why taking breaks is my secret weapon for slaying the workday!

Picture this: You're knee-deep in spreadsheets, drowning in emails, and feeling like your brain's about to stage a protest. That's when it hits you—you need a break! Stepping away from the chaos, even for a few minutes, is like hitting the reset button on your sanity. Trust me, it's like a mini-vacay for your mind!

Now, let's talk creativity. Ever notice how the best ideas hit you when you least expect them? That's because your brain's not bogged down by the daily grind. It's during those coffee breaks or lunch strolls that genius strikes! So, embrace those breaks, sister, and watch those lightbulb moments shine bright!

Oh, and concentration? Girl, let me tell you—it's all about those power naps and snack breaks! Your brain needs fuel to function; nothing fuels it like a quick siesta or a delicious treat. Suddenly, those daunting tasks don't seem so scary anymore!

And let's remember our physical health. Sitting all day? Everyone has time for that! Breaks are your ticket to freedom—freedom to stretch, dance, or even bust out a quick yoga pose. Your body will thank you, and hey, who knows, you might just start a trend in the office!

Lastly, let's talk about balance. We're not just boss ladies—we're human beings with lives outside of work! So, take those breaks guilt-free. Use them to catch up with a friend, squeeze in a workout, or indulge in your favourite hobby. Work hard, yes, but play harder, because life's too short to be stuck behind a desk all day!

In a nutshell, breaks aren't just a luxury—they're a boss lady's secret weapon for conquering the world, one coffee break at a time! So, go ahead, take that break, and show 'em who's boss!

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Tuesday, March 05, 2024

Beyond the Boardroom: Mastering Executive Presence for Women Leaders!



Executive presence is a vital aspect of leadership, embodying confidence, charisma, and authority. For women leaders, mastering executive presence can be a transformative journey, opening doors to greater influence and impact in the workplace. Authenticity lies at the heart of executive presence. Women leaders should embrace their unique strengths, values, and personality traits, allowing them to connect genuinely with their teams and stakeholders. By staying true to themselves, women can exude confidence and authenticity, enhancing their executive presence.
Effective communication is a cornerstone of executive presence. Women leaders should hone their communication skills, mastering the art of articulating their ideas, vision, and expectations clearly and persuasively. Whether speaking in public forums, leading meetings, or engaging in one-on-one conversations, strong communication skills enhance a woman leader's presence and influence. Confidence is a defining characteristic of executive presence. Women leaders should cultivate a sense of self-assurance, believing in their abilities and decisions.
Confidence is conveyed through body language, tone of voice, and demeanour, commanding respect and credibility from others. By projecting confidence, women leaders inspire trust and instill confidence in their teams and colleagues. Gravitas encompasses poise, composure, and authority, essential qualities for women leaders to command respect and influence. Women should cultivate a sense of gravitas by remaining composed under pressure, maintaining a calm and confident demeanour, and exuding a sense of authority in their actions and decisions.
Strategic visibility is key for women leaders to enhance their executive presence and visibility within their organizations. Women should actively seek opportunities to showcase their expertise, leadership capabilities, and achievements, whether through speaking engagements, thought leadership initiatives, or high-impact projects. By strategically positioning themselves, women leaders can increase their visibility and influence, strengthening their executive presence.
Building strong relationships is essential for women leaders to cultivate executive presence and influence. Women should invest in building meaningful connections with colleagues, mentors, and stakeholders, fostering trust, collaboration, and support. By nurturing strong relationships, women leaders can amplify their impact and influence, enhancing their executive presence within their organizations and beyond.
Mastering executive presence is a journey of self-discovery, growth, and empowerment for women leaders. By embracing authenticity, honing communication skills, projecting confidence, demonstrating gravitas, cultivating strategic visibility, and building strong relationships, women can elevate their executive presence and lead with impact and influence. As women leaders continue to rise and thrive in leadership roles, mastering executive presence becomes an essential tool for success, empowering them to shine brightly and make a lasting difference in the workplace and beyond.
Rab Rakha!!!!!

Empowering the Unseen Workforce: Bridging Knowledge Gaps on the POSH Act!

As we mark a decade since the enactment of the POSH (Prevention of Sexual Harassment) Act 2013 in India, it's crucial to reflect on the progress made and the areas where awareness still lags. While the act has been instrumental in providing a legal framework to address workplace harassment, there remains a significant gap in awareness, particularly among domestic workers. In this blog post, we delve into the importance of bridging this awareness gap and empowering domestic workers to understand and assert their rights under the POSH Act.

Understanding the POSH Act 2013: The POSH Act 2013 was a landmark legislation aimed at preventing and addressing instances of sexual harassment in the workplace. It mandates the establishment of Internal Complaints Committees (ICCs) in organizations with 10 or more employees to address complaints of harassment. The act provides a mechanism for victims to file complaints, ensures confidentiality, and mandates timely redressal of grievances.

Challenges Faced by Domestic Workers: Despite the provisions of the POSH Act, domestic workers, who constitute a significant portion of the workforce, often remain unaware of their rights under the legislation. Many domestic workers operate in informal employment settings where the implementation of labour laws, including the POSH Act, is limited. They may lack access to information and resources to seek redress in cases of harassment.

The Importance of Awareness: Raising awareness about the POSH Act among domestic workers is essential for several reasons. Firstly, it empowers them to recognize and report instances of harassment in their workplace. Secondly, it helps in creating a culture of accountability among employers and ensuring a safe working environment for domestic workers. Moreover, increased awareness can lead to greater participation in ICCs and contribute to the effectiveness of the redressal mechanism.

Addressing the Awareness Gap: To bridge the awareness gap surrounding the POSH Act among domestic workers, concerted efforts are needed from various stakeholders. This includes government agencies, NGOs, employers, and civil society organizations. Strategies such as conducting awareness workshops, distributing informational materials in local languages, and leveraging technology platforms can be effective in reaching out to domestic workers.

Empowering Domestic Workers: Empowering domestic workers goes beyond merely imparting knowledge about their rights under the POSH Act. It involves creating avenues for them to assert their rights, access legal aid if needed, and advocate for safer working conditions. Employers also play a crucial role in ensuring compliance with the POSH Act and fostering a culture of respect and dignity in the workplace.

Conclusion: As we commemorate 10 years of the POSH Act 2013, it's imperative to recognize the ongoing efforts required to bridge the awareness gap, especially among marginalized sections of the workforce such as domestic workers. By empowering domestic workers with knowledge and resources, we can contribute to creating more inclusive and safer workplaces for all. Let's work together towards a future where every worker is aware of their rights and can work free from harassment and discrimination.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Power Plays: Strategies for Navigating Office Politics!

Unlocking the mysteries of office politics can indeed be a daunting task, but it's a challenge that many professionals face. Here are some strategies and insights that I've found helpful in navigating the complex landscape of office dynamics:

  • Build Genuine Relationships: Foster authentic connections with your colleagues based on trust and mutual respect. Building strong relationships can help you navigate office politics more effectively and garner support when needed.
  • Stay Neutral: Avoid getting involved in office gossip or taking sides in conflicts. Maintaining a neutral stance can help you avoid unnecessary drama and prevent you from being perceived as biased.
  • Communicate Openly: Transparency is key in navigating office politics. Be honest and open in your communication with colleagues and managers, and strive to keep others informed about important matters.
  • Focus on Your Work: Stay focused on your job responsibilities and strive for excellence in everything you do. By consistently delivering high-quality work, you can earn the respect and recognition of your peers, regardless of the office politics at play.
  • Be Diplomatic: When conflicts arise, approach them with a diplomatic mindset. Seek to understand all perspectives involved and work towards finding a resolution that is fair and equitable for everyone.
  • Seek Allies: Cultivate relationships with individuals who share your values and work ethic. Having allies in the workplace can provide you with support and guidance when navigating challenging situations.
  • Stay Professional: Maintain a professional demeanour at all times, even when faced with difficult or confrontational situations. Avoid getting drawn into office drama and focus on maintaining your professionalism and integrity.
  • Know When to Escalate: If you find yourself in a situation where office politics are negatively impacting your work or well-being, don't hesitate to escalate the issue to HR or higher management. It's important to advocate for yourself and ensure that your concerns are addressed.

By implementing these strategies and approaches, you can navigate office politics more effectively and create a positive and productive work environment for yourself and your colleagues. Remember, while office politics may be unavoidable, how you choose to navigate them is entirely within your control.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Friday, March 01, 2024

Embracing Change in Relationships: Navigating Life's Twists and Turns Together!

In life's journey, relationships are like the ever-changing seasons constantly shifting, evolving, and adapting to the winds of change. Whether it's the bonds we form with friends, family, or colleagues, or the connections we forge in our professional endeavours, one thing is certain: nothing remains static forever. As we traverse the varied landscapes of existence, our perspectives, priorities, and circumstances inevitably transform, shaping the tapestry of our interactions with others.

Consider the friendships we cultivate over the years. What once seemed like an unbreakable bond may gradually evolve as we mature and embark on different paths in life. As individuals grow, their interests diverge, their goals change and their outlooks on life undergo profound shifts. Similarly, in the realm of work and professional relationships, changes in roles, responsibilities, and career aspirations can profoundly impact the dynamics of collaboration and camaraderie.

Yet, amidst the flux and flow of life, there exists an opportunity for growth, renewal, and deeper connection within our relationships. It is during times of change that the true strength of our bonds is tested—the willingness to communicate openly, to listen empathetically, and to navigate the twists and turns of life together. Effective communication serves as the bedrock upon which resilient relationships are built, fostering understanding, trust, and mutual support.

Moreover, shared experiences—both joyous and challenging—cement the ties that bind us. Whether celebrating triumphs or weathering storms, these collective moments shape the fabric of our relationships, imbuing them with depth, resilience, and meaning. However, as we journey through life, it's essential to recognize that our expectations of each other may evolve over time. Thus, engaging in honest, heartfelt conversations is imperative to ensure alignment and understanding, thereby averting misunderstandings and fostering harmony.

Furthermore, the constraints of time and distance can pose significant challenges to maintaining strong relationships. In an increasingly fast-paced world, where demands vie for our attention and geographical distances separate us from loved ones, nurturing connections requires conscious effort and dedication. Despite the miles that may separate us or the demands that may consume our time, investing in meaningful communication and quality time spent together remains essential in preserving the bonds we hold dear.

In essence, embracing change within relationships is not merely about weathering the storms of life but seizing the opportunities for growth, connection, and renewal that they present. By cultivating a spirit of openness, flexibility, and resilience, we empower ourselves to navigate life's transitions with grace and dignity. So let us embark on this journey together, embracing change as a catalyst for deeper understanding, stronger bonds, and richer experiences in the tapestry of our relationships.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Monday, February 12, 2024

The Art of Unwinding: Prioritizing Relaxation in a Busy World!




In today's fast-paced society, where schedules often feel overwhelming, it's crucial to recognize the importance of taking breaks and relaxing. Doing so isn't just a luxury; it's a vital aspect of maintaining our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Relaxation allows us to recharge our batteries. Just as our phones need recharging to function optimally, our minds and bodies require downtime to replenish energy levels. Without breaks, we risk burnout, decreased productivity, and increased stress.

Moreover, relaxation enhances creativity. Stepping away from work and engaging in leisure activities stimulates our minds and encourages fresh perspectives. It gives us the space to explore new ideas and solutions.On a health note, chronic stress can wreak havoc on our bodies. Taking regular breaks and practicing relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or meditation, can significantly reduce stress levels and promote overall wellness. Furthermore, relaxation fosters stronger relationships. When we're constantly focused on work, our personal connections can suffer. By taking breaks and spending quality time with loved ones, we nurture these relationships and create lasting bonds.

To unwind effectively, it's essential to disconnect from work-related tasks during downtime. Engaging in leisure activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as reading or going for a nature walk, is also beneficial. Incorporating mindfulness practices and prioritizing adequate sleep are key components of a balanced approach to relaxation.

Relaxation is not something to be overlooked or dismissed as unimportant. It's a vital aspect of maintaining a healthy work-life balance and overall well-being. By prioritizing relaxation and taking breaks, we can lead happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

"To all the girls that think you’re ugly because you’re not a size 0, you’re the beautiful one. It’s society who’s ugly" ― Marilyn Monroe



A rainbow typically refers to a meteorological phenomenon that is a spectrum of light appearing in the sky when the sun shines onto rain droplets in the atmosphere. It consists of various colours, often arranged in a specific order: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet (ROYGBIV).

If you're asking about "rainbow" in the context of measuring body sizes, it's a term used in fashion or clothing industries to describe a range of sizes or a diverse set of options. For example, a brand might offer a "rainbow" of sizes to indicate inclusivity and cater to various body types.

Today when I was sitting with the Owner of a well-known brand's learned about a phrase for plus-size apparel. This way, anyone who is plus-size won't feel body shamed when they go shopping and are labelled huge or any other term that offends them. I applaud companies that consider women of these sizes and help them develop a positive body image.

Given the relentless bombardment of photoshopped perfection in our world, it should come as no surprise that a large number of people especially women feel tremendous pressure to meet rigid beauty standards. This invasive culture of body shaming has its roots in this concern with appearances. However, it's past time for us to acknowledge how critically important it is to redefine these norms and build a culture that is more welcoming and inclusive. 

The effects of body shaming on people's mental and self-esteem are severe. In particular, women are frequently hooked in a self-criticism vicious cycle that is fed by cultural expectations. Constantly examining their body might cause eating disorders, anxiety, and sadness. It's a brutal fact of life that needs our attention and help.

Fortunately, there is a growing movement that opposes these damaging beauty standards and encourages body positivity. It will take a team effort to redefine beauty standards and end body shaming; these are continual processes. Through promoting diversity, encouraging mutual support, and cultivating a self-love mindset, we may establish a community in which each person is appreciated and views themselves as attractive without modification. Let's implement this change little by little.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, January 01, 2024

Detaching from expectations is the key to finding true peace!



One of the few things in life we control is our reaction to things. And expectations tee up those reactions. They often set the odds on the outcome, and the odds usually aren’t in your favour. I’ve decided I’d rather stick with actual reactions rather than put my reactions at a disadvantage by mixing them with my everything-should-be-amazing imagination.

When you don’t have expectations, you experience things objectively rather than tinted with presupposition. Then if you do happen to be disappointed, it’s only because the experience wasn’t good, not that you thought it would be INSANELY GREAT and then only ended up as GOOD. A good experience should always leave you smiling, rather than disappointed because it didn’t measure up to a story you made up.

Leaving expectations out of it makes everything more direct. It’s simply how you feel about something rather than how you feel coloured by how you thought you were going to feel. To put it another way, not having expectations means you can’t be let down. Being let down means something didn’t measure up to what you expected. So instead of being let down about something, I’d just be unsatisfied with the outcome. That may sound subtle, but it has a distinctly different emotional impact. Expectations are what let you down, not outcomes. Outcomes just are. I’ll evaluate those rather than how they measured up to some artificial line in the mental sand.

In practice. We don't work with expectations. We simply do our best work and the chips fall where they may. Having expectations makes outcomes binary — you did what you hoped to do, or you didn’t. I’d prefer to live with just doing and enjoying the flow. BTW, predictions are different from expectations. Predictions don’t come with an emotional impact if the outcome doesn’t measure up. Predict wrong? “I was wrong”. Expectations not met? “That sucks”. See the emotional difference?

In my personal life, I don’t have expectations of others, except to say that I assume all people are good until proven otherwise. I’m more interested in how people are, than what I expect them to be. If you ever want to be disappointed by someone, set unrealistic expectations. Of course, as you get to know someone you have a sense of what they’re capable of, but even then, people just do as they do, they don’t miss, meet, or exceed my expectations.

If I’m competing in something, I don’t expect to win. I want to win. I’ll do my best to win. But I don’t expect to win. My expectations have nothing to do with what I’m competing on, and I don’t control the other side. I can only do my best regardless, so why measure that against anything other than the ultimate outcome?

When I go to a movie, I don’t expect it to be bad, good, or great — I just want to go see the movie. I may have heard something about it prior to seeing it, but that's someone else's opinion, not my expectation. After it’s over I can ask myself if I liked it or not, not how it measured up to how much I thought I’d like it (or not). I’m convinced that people would like things a whole lot more if someone else didn’t tell them they wouldn’t like it. Stuff’s pretty great, you know.

When I head to the airport, I don’t dread security or lines or waits. Why? Because I have no expectations of those things. And let’s face it — expectations of those things are usually bad. So, if they are actually bad, you expect disappointment and get it. What a sad way to start a day.

When I go for a walk once in a blue when I get time, I don’t expect to walk a 6-minute mile, but if I do, great. And if I don’t that’s fine too — I still went for a walk. If I was competing, that might be different, but I’m just enjoying it.

When the new iPhone comes out, I’m never disappointed that it didn’t have this or that. I’m usually delighted. Why? Because I wasn’t expecting anything other than something new. I can judge that thing when it exists, rather than setting up opportunities to be upset. The number of people who complain about something new that didn’t exist five minutes ago is a testament to the negative power of expectations.

Is this indifference? It’s not — I’m not indifferent. I have plenty of opinions and points of view. Some strongly held, others less so. But I only consider outcomes once they happen rather than writing a script in my mind that I react to after the fact.

I wasn’t always this way. I used to set up expectations in my head all day long. Constantly measuring reality against an imagined reality is taxing and tiring. I think it often wrings the joy out of just experiencing something for what it is. So, over the past few years, I’ve let those go and ended up considerably happier and more content.

And really, every day has a shot at being pretty great when your only expectation is that the sun comes up.

Rab Rakha!!!!!

When Grace Becomes the Last Word!

There comes a point in your life when the rose-tinted glasses fall off, the background violins stop playing, and you realize — not everyone ...